MagickDio's definitions

Fuckjobbing

1) Putting a large amount of effort into doing something badly. More often than not, unintentionally. People that are doing the fuck jobs rarely see their utter abortions as anything except works of art.

2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.

1) The men watched, transfixed. Even after their handy hints, Sheila continued fuckjobbing the Creosote and gazing appreciatively at the terrible mess.

2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.

by MagickDio July 6, 2011

Wrands

When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"

"Sarah's mum has got raging wrands! Did you notice?"
"Yeah, I shuddered when she touched me"

by MagickDio March 7, 2010

Selfish Wanker

1) A person who is selfish and behaves like an idiot

2) A person who is greedy with their masturbatory habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or masturbation plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five knuckle shuffling, but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.

Steven is a selfish wanker. He sent his girlfriend out to the strip club with his mates so that he could stay in and abuse himself alone.

by MagickDio September 4, 2010

gAy Team

What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.

"The A team is composed entirely of gay circus freaks. It's the gAy Team"

"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"

by MagickDio February 26, 2010

quick-fire round

Any sexual act in which ejaculation is achieved within seconds.

"I've been wanting to fuck him for months. I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known it was gonna be a bloody quick- fire round"

"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"

"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"

by MagickDio February 4, 2010

Loasting

To verbally bash a person you hate, to their face. Comes from merging the words "Loathe" and "Roasting" together. Whilst anyone can "roast" a celebrity or even a friend behind their backs, only someone who truly hates you can give you a loasting and still somehow come out looking like the good guy. A loasting does not merely take you down a peg or two. It is as if someone has taken away your shield and pissed in your face. In public. And everyone will believe, due to the righteous anger with which the loasting is delivered, that you deserve it.

We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.

Lesha vowed never ever to go to Tesco in the village ever again, for fear of the loasting she would inevitably receive, should she cross paths with Dee.

by MagickDio October 27, 2011

Wrong Side

Used to describe the behaviour of a guy that is heterosexual but for some reason, is acting gayer than a sailor in hotpants. Sometimes this is down to an unfortunate, yet entertaining personality trait. Other times it's totally random. Some fine examples of this behaviour are seen in guys that check themselves out in shop windows, guys that snatch up a copy of "Heat" and stare at the front page in clear disbelief, guys that say "Oh. My. GOD!!!", and guys that wave with all their fingers waggling like incy wincy spider.

-"Did you see that Beyoncé lost 12 pounds on a maple syrup diet? It's right here, look at this copy of Heat! Oh. My. GOD!!"

-"Dude, you're on the wrong side! We're here to buy porn!"

~ "Look at John, waving like a teenage harlot. He's on the wrong side today, that's for sure"

by MagickDio March 2, 2010