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MagickDio's definitions

Turnt Round

What idiots say when relaying a conversation they had. No matter who they were speaking to or where they where at the time, you will always find that they and the other conversational counterpart managed to turn around constantly. The idiot will claim that they "turnt round" to deliver a comment or action, and that the other person "turnt round" in order to respond, thus giving the impression that they spent the whole time twirling about.
"So, what happened?"

"Well, he turnt round and said that it couldn't be his cos he pulled out, so I turnt round and told him that he was a knob. I thought he was gonna shut up til he turnt round and called me a slag. So I turnt round and slapped him one and he turnt round looking well embarrassed!"
by MagickDio March 11, 2010
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Sky Wee

Rain.

This is a term you use to confuse and disgust small children so that they keep their hoods or umbrellas up. Cemented by someone, usually their father, saying "It's pissing down!"
"Keep your umbrella over your head! I've only just done your hair! You don't want it getting all rained on, babe, d'ya know why? Cos rain is Sky Wee. That's right. Wee. From the sky. So keep your umbrella where it's meant to be."
by MagickDio July 17, 2011
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Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
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Charity Orgasm

An orgasm which is given out of an uncomfortable sense of duty; much like parting with small change when confronted with a bucket shaking Salvation Army worker. You don't want to give it, but you'll be made to feel a total shit if you don't.

Here is a typical example of a circumstance that requires such a donation. Your partner has been moaning all the livelong day about their appearance. Words like "obese", "disgusting", "hideous" and "gross" have been used so often and so emphatically that, despite yourself, you genuinely begin to agree. Then the obligatory "You're so gorgeous, I can't keep my hands off you" sex that was meant to assure them they're hot has become an act of charity, with you performing deeds that you would rather not share with someone who has half convinced you they're a troll.
He closed his eyes and thought of Beyoncé whilst making his charity orgasm donation to his long term "fat", "rancid" and "skanky" girlfriend.
by MagickDio October 15, 2010
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McFuck

1) Horny teenage couples in their droves flock to McDonald's for cheap, disgusting "food" every weekend. Sometimes, dipping the fries in those nasty little ketchup tubs gets too sexually suggestive for them, and they head off to the toilets to bang each other. They think it's risque, but almost everyone in McDonald's has no soul and no shame; their faces are deeply buried in greasy, supersized crap, so they barely notice the kids sneaking off for a McFuck.

2) McDonald's employees that are shagging at work are "McFucking". Presumably, the experience of being "Mcfucked" would lead to some serious "McShame", but as afore mentioned, those that spend large amounts of time in McDonald's have no souls, or personalities for that matter.
"Shall we go to McDonald's and get a McChicken Sandwich? We could sneak off for a quick McFuck too, if you wanna?"

"Norman and Shirley were McFucking at the end of last night's shift. I only noticed because I'm new here and still could go to heaven"
by MagickDio March 7, 2010
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Magical Mummy

Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.

Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"

"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"

"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
by MagickDio February 5, 2010
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Pussy Locking

Like cock blocked, but for ladies. When something's coming at you, it can be blocked....hence cock blocking. When something is denied access, it's locked out, hence pussy locking. It's a frustrating state, because it's imposed by others.

Male BFF's are usually the biggest culprits for pussy locking their female friends, because they secretly fancy them, and don't want them fucking anyone else but them. Ex boyfriends can also create a pretty unbreakable pussy lock if you happen to be partying in the same venue.
"Hey Suze, great night last night wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't. You kept pussy locking me! I never cock block you! Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"Because I love you......."
(shocked look of absolute disgust)
"........as a friend."
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
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