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MagickDio's definitions

Big Jazz

1) A sarcastic term used to describe something or someone that others clearly thinks is great, but is actually fairly sub standard. (Not unlike a lot of jazz)

2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
1) "I got a new puppy!"
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"

2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
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Winter Tears

When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"

Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
"What's the matter?"
"Don't worry, it's just winter tears"
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
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Sex Fairy

A magical being, of which there are thousands. They fly around and use their powers to make unlikely sex situations happen. It's up for debate as to whether or not these creatures work for the greater good. For example, sex faries will have made it possible for the school geek to sleep with the school stud. Excellent for the reputation of the geek, but total social disaster for the stud.

Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
-"Hey Steve, I hear you slept with Tina. What possessed you?"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"

-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
by MagickDio February 24, 2010
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Leather Flaying

Sitting on leather seats with bare skin on a hot day is asking for trouble. When you attempt to rise from the seat, you have to rip your skin from the surface that it has practically merged with, thus giving yourself a painful Leather Flaying experience. If you're lucky, you won't have made full body contact. Having sex on a leather sofa is a big mistake. 50% of the gasps and moans will be of pain as you tear your body away, leaving 6 layers of skin behind.
"Your back looks all sunburnt, Jim"
"It's not, I was shagging Vicky on the sofa and got a serious leather flaying"
by MagickDio March 7, 2010
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quick-fire round

Any sexual act in which ejaculation is achieved within seconds.
"I've been wanting to fuck him for months. I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known it was gonna be a bloody quick- fire round"

"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"

"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
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Tramp Nosh

1) Discarded, half eaten kebabs that are strewn through the streets near bars after 2am at weekends.

2) Oral sex performed on someone in a park/carpark/shop doorway. A person does not necessarily have to be a tramp to perform or receive Tramp Nosh but it is reasonable to assume that at least one participant may be, due to the scabby choice of location.
1) "I can't eat this doner, I'm gonna puke. Do you want it?"
"Nah, throw it down, man. Let it become tramp nosh."

2) Claire regretted her choice to remain sober and be the designated driver as soon as she approached her car and noticed, all too clearly, the gentleman reclining against it, recieving an enthusiastic tramp nosh from a woman in pink pvc and hair glitter.
by MagickDio July 8, 2011
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Deadly Mistake

A mistake made which results in something potentially dying. It's a pretty gosh darned awful mistake if that something turns out to be you. There are two deadly mistakes which are incredibly common;

1) A woman, in the midst of her mental cycle is being somewhat emotionally unstable, and a man utters these words....."what's your problem?!" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! The obvious answer to the question will be that HE is the problem, and if he escapes with his life, all happiness will most certainly be killed for him for the next 3-5 days.

2) When getting down to some serious foreplay, the woman turns to the man and utters these words..."do I look fat?" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! There is no "safe" way for a man to answer that question! If he looks, he's judging- if he doesn't look, he's not taking the question seriously- if he says yes, she cries- if he says no, she says he's lying.... Apart from that question being the one that probably makes men want to strangle women, asking it will kill desire stone cold fucking dead. Not to mention that a "yes" response might result in someone finding the guy the next morning with his head torn off.
"She was just nagging and whining and bitching, so I asked her what her problem was!"

"Ahh, that explains the bruises. Deadly mistake, mate."

"She asked me if she looked fat, right when I was about to take her from behind!"

"Gaaah! Deadly mistake! I bet that killed it!"

"Too fucking right, I was too stressed even to wank, and she just led there muttering and texting about what a cold hearted tosser I am"
by MagickDio April 1, 2010
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