A magical being, of which there are thousands. They fly around and use their powers to make unlikely sex situations happen. It's up for debate as to whether or not these creatures work for the greater good. For example, sex faries will have made it possible for the school geek to sleep with the school stud. Excellent for the reputation of the geek, but total social disaster for the stud.
Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
-"Hey Steve, I hear you slept with Tina. What possessed you?"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"
-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
Someone who licks pussy like it's the only thing they want to do. A cunnilingerer will not move away the second the orgasm has subsided, but will slowly start working up to a second one like the legend that they are. It's not a duty to these guys, it's a delicious, slippery privilege and they make that only too clear.
Guys- if you're not one of these tongue genuises, then become one. The world would be a much nicer place if we abolished fellate hate
and made every guy a cunnilingerer.
"I had such a good time with that random other I took home on Friday. He was a cunnilingerer- I almost regret not getting his name and number"
1. A word used to express total annoyance
2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.
3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper
1. " My internet connection has gone again! FUCKSTICKS!!"
2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"
3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
Like a fuck buddy
except this person isn't your buddy
in any way shape or form. You have nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust for each other as people. Yet you call them or receive a text from them every time you're lonely or they're horny and you get it on. There will be no talking, except to trade insults. You will have no need to discuss "keeping this a secret" as you're both too ashamed to reveal this to anyone.
Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."
"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
Spar-GER; the cheap, bitter, drain-cleaning-fluid-like substance contained within generic white cans and sold as lager at your local Spar. Essentially, it is carbonated tramp piss.
"I've only got £2 to get collins
'ed on. Looks like I'd better buy a 12 pack of Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
1) When you slink off to secretly have sex with someone you shouldn't. Usually because you or they are in a relationship. Someone who stealth fucks is usually a stealthy fucker, and you can recognise them by the fact that they melt into shadows and you don't see them for hours.
2) When either or both parties are unsure if penetration has occured; a situation that only occurs with very loose women or very small men. Will always occur when the two are put together. Stealth fucking of this kind is often coupled with the question- "Is it in yet?"
1) "Jake's gone again! He was just here! Call his mobile. What? Switched off, eh? Bet he's gone off for a stealth fuck"
2) "Julie needs to tone up. I'm not satisfied with this stealth fucking nonsense"