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95 definitions by MagickDio

 
8.
Someone you meet up with online and masturbate with on cam. There are two likely outcomes to this situation- you either eventually get over each other, or eventually get under each other. It depends on how excellent and sexy the wank buddy is as to which you will allow to happen.

A classic mistake is performed by the "one sided" wank buddy- ie, only one person puts on their cam and relies on the snazzy wording of the other person to get them off. When they eventually see the other person, they usually turn out to be a middle aged fat man eating a bag of doritos with the same hand he's wanking with. This leads to suicidal moments and feelings of being deeply unclean. TAKE NOTE- Screen your prospective wank buddy before you take off your pants and get stuck in.
"No, I don't want to watch Glee with you, I've got plans with my wank buddy"

"Thank God I've got a wank buddy, or I'd just cry myself into a sexless and frustrated sleep"
by MagickDio March 04, 2010
35 8
 
9.
A magical being, of which there are thousands. They fly around and use their powers to make unlikely sex situations happen. It's up for debate as to whether or not these creatures work for the greater good. For example, sex faries will have made it possible for the school geek to sleep with the school stud. Excellent for the reputation of the geek, but total social disaster for the stud.

Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
-"Hey Steve, I hear you slept with Tina. What possessed you?"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"

-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
by MagickDio February 24, 2010
38 12
 
10.
Someone who licks pussy like it's the only thing they want to do. A cunnilingerer will not move away the second the orgasm has subsided, but will slowly start working up to a second one like the legend that they are. It's not a duty to these guys, it's a delicious, slippery privilege and they make that only too clear.

Guys- if you're not one of these tongue genuises, then become one. The world would be a much nicer place if we abolished fellate hate and made every guy a cunnilingerer.
"I had such a good time with that random other I took home on Friday. He was a cunnilingerer- I almost regret not getting his name and number"
by MagickDio April 23, 2010
28 5
 
11.
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.

2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."

2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"

"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"

"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
28 5
 
12.
Like a fuck buddy except this person isn't your buddy in any way shape or form. You have nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust for each other as people. Yet you call them or receive a text from them every time you're lonely or they're horny and you get it on. There will be no talking, except to trade insults. You will have no need to discuss "keeping this a secret" as you're both too ashamed to reveal this to anyone.

Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
"Dear Diary,

I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."

"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
by MagickDio February 18, 2010
25 2
 
13.
1. A word used to express total annoyance

2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.

3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
1. " My internet connection has gone again! FUCKSTICKS!!"

2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"

3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
26 4
 
14.
Spar-GER; the cheap, bitter, drain-cleaning-fluid-like substance contained within generic white cans and sold as lager at your local Spar. Essentially, it is carbonated tramp piss.
"I've only got £2 to get collins'ed on. Looks like I'd better buy a 12 pack of Sparger"

"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
by MagickDio February 04, 2010
25 3