L.MARTIN's definitions
CARPENTER 1:"Say fella...would you step back n' take a look at
n'see how this door fits?"
CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."
n'see how this door fits?"
CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
Get the RED CUNT HAIR mug.When you're really good at what you do...yet it fails to make those around you better...or produce winning results.
DRINKIN BUDDY 1:"What do Barry Bonds,John Kerry,Jim Kelly,& Carly Fiorina have in common?"
DRINKIN BUDDY 2:"'Dunno...A-ROD SYNDROME?"
DB 1:"Co-rrect!Next ones' on me."
DRINKIN BUDDY 2:"'Dunno...A-ROD SYNDROME?"
DB 1:"Co-rrect!Next ones' on me."
by L.MARTIN November 23, 2005
Get the A-ROD SYNDROME mug.The annoying tendency of our mainstream political/ news/entertainment industrial complex to have it's talking heads deliver thinly veiled messages of class warfare and bigotry.ALL mainstream ideological viewpoints are guilty of this.
When America wants to explore it's ills...social or otherwise...it usually explores it in the context of skin color first...class second...and finally as a problem to be solved-when it's hideously clear that it's EVERYONES problem.(this sometimes takes decades)...But since for better or worse one is unable anymore to flat-out offend/demean/impugn the sensibilities of this or that tribe...words and phrases are used in conjunction with pictures to form or reinforce assumptions of what or who the "problem" is.A coupla' "CODESPEAKS'GREATEST HITS" would include:
"CHILDREN BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK"-For decades the picture in your head was that of a Black welfare mother with no father in sight...probably still is...But when you factor in such things as divorce and White professional females having kids...man be damned...you see that if in fact households without men is a problem...it's everyones problem.
"HIV"-Does'nt make the headlines much anymore unless it relates to Africa or the porn industry...But not too long ago when the disease was a sure death sentence...you never heard a story about HIV that did'nt suggest that this was a disease of "THE INNER CITY"...And without fail-there would be a story every year about some young Black man just outta jail who moves into some suburban/rural White community and starts infecting the local White girls.Suggesting that as long as you were a White heterosexual...and you only fucked other White heterosexuals...you need not worry.Of course someone forgot to tell NASCAR star Tim Richmond this before he went off and infected 250 groupies-uh women with it on his way to that great oval in the sky.(he was white)Of course there were no stories either about the probably thousands of "UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS"
people who've been infected...yet becuase of private health insurance and privacy issues did'nt end up in the stats that are so often repeated.IT'S STILL EVERYONES PROBLEM.
"CRIME"-Are you kidding me?
When America wants to explore it's ills...social or otherwise...it usually explores it in the context of skin color first...class second...and finally as a problem to be solved-when it's hideously clear that it's EVERYONES problem.(this sometimes takes decades)...But since for better or worse one is unable anymore to flat-out offend/demean/impugn the sensibilities of this or that tribe...words and phrases are used in conjunction with pictures to form or reinforce assumptions of what or who the "problem" is.A coupla' "CODESPEAKS'GREATEST HITS" would include:
"CHILDREN BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK"-For decades the picture in your head was that of a Black welfare mother with no father in sight...probably still is...But when you factor in such things as divorce and White professional females having kids...man be damned...you see that if in fact households without men is a problem...it's everyones problem.
"HIV"-Does'nt make the headlines much anymore unless it relates to Africa or the porn industry...But not too long ago when the disease was a sure death sentence...you never heard a story about HIV that did'nt suggest that this was a disease of "THE INNER CITY"...And without fail-there would be a story every year about some young Black man just outta jail who moves into some suburban/rural White community and starts infecting the local White girls.Suggesting that as long as you were a White heterosexual...and you only fucked other White heterosexuals...you need not worry.Of course someone forgot to tell NASCAR star Tim Richmond this before he went off and infected 250 groupies-uh women with it on his way to that great oval in the sky.(he was white)Of course there were no stories either about the probably thousands of "UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS"
people who've been infected...yet becuase of private health insurance and privacy issues did'nt end up in the stats that are so often repeated.IT'S STILL EVERYONES PROBLEM.
"CRIME"-Are you kidding me?
CODESPEAK ANCHORMAN:"In the news today:Low test scores...affirmative action...new golf course!Back after this."
by L.MARTIN October 19, 2005
Get the CODESPEAK mug.You walk into a strip club flush with cash.Beautiful women take their clothes off and dance for you.One in particular
catches your eye.She's hot...charming...smart...and seemingly
level-headed.You know it's too good to be true.So does she.
Remember you're in a STRIP CLUB.You're paying women to behave
like their real-world polar opposite.She moves in...with her kid.Has yours.You're FUCKED.
catches your eye.She's hot...charming...smart...and seemingly
level-headed.You know it's too good to be true.So does she.
Remember you're in a STRIP CLUB.You're paying women to behave
like their real-world polar opposite.She moves in...with her kid.Has yours.You're FUCKED.
INVESTMENT BANKER 1:"I've taken Mylene to dinner a coupla' times outside of this place.I'm thinkin' I might move her in.
IB2:"You'll beee sooorrry!Have'nt you ever heard of PSP?"
IB1:"PSP?"
IB2:"PSYCHO STRIPPER PARADOX.She's on her best behavior...until she moves in.Then
the fangs and the claws come out.
Been there."
IB2:"You'll beee sooorrry!Have'nt you ever heard of PSP?"
IB1:"PSP?"
IB2:"PSYCHO STRIPPER PARADOX.She's on her best behavior...until she moves in.Then
the fangs and the claws come out.
Been there."
by L.MARTIN January 29, 2006
Get the PSYCHO STRIPPER PARADOX mug.One of a handful of LA restaurants where wannabe actors pretend
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
ACTRESS/MODEL/WAITRESS/YOGA CHIK:"Hey Tina...wanna go dutch on
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"
TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"
TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
Get the THE IVY mug.AGENT:"Dammit Harvey! My clients' a wreck.I thought we left
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."
HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."
HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
Get the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE mug.A 30something to 50something man of modest to respectable accomplishment who lands an attractive but no longer hot
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."
CHICK:"Alberto!...how nice to see you!(hug)Hope everything is
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
Get the CADDY mug.