L.MARTIN's definitions
What you are presumed to be by the legal industrial complex,the press,and casual observers if you are man...and a woman or a child accuses you of wrong-doing.
1)In order to deny custody to a father-and generate income-a woman has as part of her state-sponsored arsenal the ability to:
A)Have consensual sex with you...then claim rape.(you're GUILTY)
B)File a restraining order against you for any reason
including you just going to pick up the last of your stuff.(DITTO)
C)Convince the kid to tell Johnny Law that you were abusive.(" ")
D)Take your money and not document it's proper use.
TESTOSTERONE:It's not just for men anymore.
A)Have consensual sex with you...then claim rape.(you're GUILTY)
B)File a restraining order against you for any reason
including you just going to pick up the last of your stuff.(DITTO)
C)Convince the kid to tell Johnny Law that you were abusive.(" ")
D)Take your money and not document it's proper use.
TESTOSTERONE:It's not just for men anymore.
by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006
Get the GUILTY mug.1)The root cause of divorce.
2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.
3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would
be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit.
4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your
life.FOREVER.
5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent
sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive
destruction begins.
6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5
year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.
2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.
3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would
be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit.
4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your
life.FOREVER.
5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent
sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive
destruction begins.
6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5
year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.
by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006
Get the MARRIAGE mug.An apparel and jewelry line that welds biker/film industry/trailer park culture into one expensive "FUCK YOU I'VE GOT MONEY" sign.Thousand dollar sunglasses...Eight grand leather jackets...Ten Grand and up shine...And of course the face-saving three hundred dollar trucker cap in case you just have to walk out of the store with something.
L.A. TOURIST:"I thought you were taking me to a hot club.This is a damn biker bar...And who are all these people wearing sunglasses at 1am?"
LOCAL:"Well the guy who just passed you was Tommy Lee.It's a CHROME HEARTS crowd.Leave the camera in your purse."
LOCAL:"Well the guy who just passed you was Tommy Lee.It's a CHROME HEARTS crowd.Leave the camera in your purse."
by L.MARTIN August 4, 2006
Get the CHROME HEARTS mug.ONE PHONE CALL: If she/he can't decide to get together after one phone call...it was'nt meant to be.Either they're not into you or worse...they're indecisive.
TWO DATES:If he/she is'nt in the bed of your choosing after two dates-(They know if they want you)-end all contact.Either they're not into you,or worse...they're indecisive attention whores.
THREE FUCKS:Get past the first two? Got him/her in bed? Good.Make it enjoyable for all involved...but at about that third session...someone will want to be involved more deeply.Time to bounce.Who's on deck?
TWO DATES:If he/she is'nt in the bed of your choosing after two dates-(They know if they want you)-end all contact.Either they're not into you,or worse...they're indecisive attention whores.
THREE FUCKS:Get past the first two? Got him/her in bed? Good.Make it enjoyable for all involved...but at about that third session...someone will want to be involved more deeply.Time to bounce.Who's on deck?
DUDE 1:"Gina is hot...but whatever happened to Josie?"
DUDE 2:"She wanted commitment.I got a RULE OF 123 I tend to follow.Just was'nt in the cards."
DUDE 2:"She wanted commitment.I got a RULE OF 123 I tend to follow.Just was'nt in the cards."
by L.MARTIN October 3, 2005
Get the RULE OF 123 mug.IF YOU'RE A STRAIGHT MAN:
1)Out and about with one woman...RESPECT.
2)Out and about with two women...MUCH RESPECT.
(Quick note:This scenario was more likely to happen
in days gone by.(the 70's)Nowadays...to have two
women out for fun...then back to the pad for more
fun...is exceedingly rare.Unless they're "proffessionals".
Which by the way is not a bad thing in itself.
3)Out and about with three women...YOU'RE FEMME GAY.
Nothing wrong with that...but if you're not...one can
assume the worst case scenario...that you are deemed
SAFE and NON-THREATENING.
1)Out and about with one woman...RESPECT.
2)Out and about with two women...MUCH RESPECT.
(Quick note:This scenario was more likely to happen
in days gone by.(the 70's)Nowadays...to have two
women out for fun...then back to the pad for more
fun...is exceedingly rare.Unless they're "proffessionals".
Which by the way is not a bad thing in itself.
3)Out and about with three women...YOU'RE FEMME GAY.
Nothing wrong with that...but if you're not...one can
assume the worst case scenario...that you are deemed
SAFE and NON-THREATENING.
GUY 1:"Hey..check out that guy over there walking into the Victoria's Secret with those three hotties."
Guy 2:"No love.He's at the ass end of the the RULE OF 123.
Guy 2:"No love.He's at the ass end of the the RULE OF 123.
by L.MARTIN October 3, 2005
Get the RULE OF 123 mug.The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"
HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"
WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."
HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"
WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"
WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."
HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"
WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
Get the GROUPIE GENE mug.The fantasy of collectors everywhere-(mostly automotive)-that they'll stumble upon a mint condition vintage 'Benz or Ferrari
in a barn or airplane hangar somewhere between N.Y/L.A....owned by someone just happy to get rid of it.Uh-huh.
in a barn or airplane hangar somewhere between N.Y/L.A....owned by someone just happy to get rid of it.Uh-huh.
COLLECTOR:"My 300SL Roadster was a BARN FIND from an estate sale on a river town in Southern Indiana.Family was just happy to be rid of the thing at 90k.Imagine that!"
COLLECTOR 2:"Enough with your fish stories!Even in desperation
nobody let's that rig go for less than 300K.There's photos of you at Barrett Jackson last month anyway."
COLLECTOR 2:"Enough with your fish stories!Even in desperation
nobody let's that rig go for less than 300K.There's photos of you at Barrett Jackson last month anyway."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
Get the BARN FIND mug.