Keifermail's definitions

CTJM

Acronym- Come to Jesus Moment! Usually an unexpected and over exciting life cahnging experience similar to watching your dog get run over or seeing your girlfriend kiss another guy.

"I bit into that habernero and had a CTJM."

by keifermail August 22, 2008

two backed beast

N. Old literary term for sexual copulation. The most famous being a quote from William Shakespeare's Othello where Iago informs the King that his daughter has been having sex with a black man. Though modern high school students generally assume that making the two back beast is a reference to doing it doggy style the literal meaning in the 15th century was sex face to face or in the missionary position.

"If you tell Momma I was spying on you, then I'll tell her you and Jorge were making the two backed beast."

William Shakespeare. Othello. (1605): Iago: ' I am one, sir, that comes to tell you, your daughter and the Moor are now making-the-beast-with-two-backs .'

by keifermail August 22, 2008

trauma seeking behavior

Person engaged in a dangerous act with the most likely conclusion is their ending up a patient in a trauma unit.

An idiot riding a wheelie down the interstate at 70 mph with no helmet.

"Rick must be drunk, wrestling an alligator is trauma seeking behavior."

by keifermail August 21, 2008

FUG

An acronym for Fat Ugly Girl.

Mike tried to set me up with his sister but I saw her once at the pool and she is a FUG.

by keifermail August 28, 2008

God's Cruel Joke

A large penis on an unattractive man.

"Ever notice all the tards have huge cocks. Man, God's cruel joke."

by keifermail August 8, 2009

manually express semen

To masturbate to completion. Jacking off to orgasm.

I went to donate some sperm and she handed me a cup and said "Please manually express semen into this cup.' I was like, "Speak English lady."
"Go jack your dick and come into this cup," she said.

by keifermail July 12, 2009

low rider

Refers to homosexual men wearing their pants low on the hip to expose colorful underwear in an attempt to attract a mate. The low riding pants signifies easy access to the mans rear compartment and not so subtly letting the other man know that he is on the down low.

"Since I been wearing my FUBU's low rider style, I been getting hit on by dudes everywhere I go."

by keifermail August 23, 2008