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Keifermail's definitions

Tards

Simply, the plural form of the word tard. More than one tard.
Democrats are tards!
by keifermail September 22, 2009
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Fart Game

The most recent addition to the Summer Olympic Games. The fart game is a game where opponents attempt to fart on each other. Made famous by Eddie Murphy's Delirious in 1983. Though the game has been played since Cain and Abel were adolescents.
"Ahhhh, dude you farted in my face. I had my mouth open and everything. It's on now! Let the fart game begin."
by keifermail September 12, 2009
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Dookie Finger

A coup de grace where one drags their finger through their ass and wipes it under a rivals nose. Though, not used very often after adolescence, a dookie finger carries more weight than a slap in the face with a white glove.
Jacob wanted to give her a dirty sanchez before she dumped him but she wouldn't let him tap that ass, so he had to settle for a dookie finger.
by keifermail August 14, 2009
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beerterrogation

A process of extracting secret information from someone by getting them drunk and thereby loosening their ability to control their tongue.
We took the manager out and did some shots and pitchers. The beerterrogation worked, before long he admitted layoffs were coming.
by keifermail October 2, 2008
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Bush Defense

N. A defense mechanism where the current administration uses psychological strategies brought into play by a deep rooted hate in the former President Bush's adminstration to cope with the reality that the current president's strategies are a failure. The Bush Defense mechanism becomes pathological because its persistent use leads to maladaptive behavior such that many begin to believe it is the former president's fault and the overall health of the nation is adversely affected. The purpose of the Bush Defence Mechanisms is to protect the Obama Adminstration from blame for current national problems and to provide a refuge from situations with which they cannot cope.
The White House on Tuesday struggled to explain how it was caught short on the unemployment figures, after promising the rate would not reach 8 percent in January.
“The previous administration did not disclose how deep the economic crisis was,” a spokesman said, in yet another attempt to use the Bush Defense.
The administration then tried to shift focus to looking forward at how the administration would prevent further erosion of the job market.
Obama promised back in January that with the stimulus passing, unemployment would probably peak at 8 percent late this year.
The current unemployment rate is 9.5 percent.
by keifermail July 11, 2009
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Log The Hog

Reference to a man having sex with a fat chick. To log the hog one has to be a chubby chaser that wins a game of nail the whale.
Dude, Nick brags about all that bearded clam he's been getting, but all he's been doing is logging the hogs. Apparently- Nick loves to log the hog.
by keifermail August 5, 2009
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Heinous Anus Fragrance

Flatulence of the worst kind. A severe fart that is like an obscene phone call from nature. The air--dank, fetid, unsavory and far from fresh--feels as if it is being exhaled into one's face from a nuclear blast channeled through an unkempt brown eye. Sometimes the smell even tastes like effluvious rotting death- beer vomit, infected diarrhea, gangrene, and the mystery smell of the river entering the ocean at low tide, amplifying the intrusion of feculent compost. It is obscene and repulsive, harsh and violent at the same time. In close proximity, miles from the barking bowels of the guilty anus, the air maintains this quality of putrid death, although unknown where it acquired a tinge of Satan's rectum, perhaps due to fumes expelled by tormented souls asses being delivered by rancid demons.
A smell awoke him. It was a scent as old as time. It was a hundred aromas of a thousand skunks. It was the tang of sweaty underarm. It was the musk of rough anal sex. It was the muscular rot of Gruyère cheese in urine. It was the spice of rotting savorous road kill. Meaty and redolent of death with decay and repugnant rot. It was horrid and offensive and nauseating and obscene. It was solid and alive - so alive! And it was close, lying right next to him in fact. The vapors invaded his nostrils and his hair rose to their roots. His eyes were as heavy as manhole covers, but he opened them. Through the dying calm inside him snaked the horrible realization that she had expelled another heinous anus fragrance.
by keifermail April 15, 2014
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