Keifermail's definitions

manually express semen

To masturbate to completion. Jacking off to orgasm.

I went to donate some sperm and she handed me a cup and said "Please manually express semen into this cup.' I was like, "Speak English lady."
"Go jack your dick and come into this cup," she said.

by keifermail July 12, 2009

drug seeker

n. a person who goes to the docter/ER feigning illness in the hopes that they may receive a prescription for their drug of choice. Characterized by the person claiming to have allergies to every drug but the one they want. Much to the seekers dismay, health care providers are taught in school to recognize their obvious addiction.

"Don't believe him, Floyd is a drug seeker; allergic to everything but Percocet, he's here everyday, and was arrested last week for blowing a guy for half a perc."

by keifermail August 23, 2008

Fart Game

The most recent addition to the Summer Olympic Games. The fart game is a game where opponents attempt to fart on each other. Made famous by Eddie Murphy's Delirious in 1983. Though the game has been played since Cain and Abel were adolescents.

"Ahhhh, dude you farted in my face. I had my mouth open and everything. It's on now! Let the fart game begin."

by keifermail September 12, 2009

Sober

The unpleasant state between drinks.

I am sober unfortunately!

by keifermail September 6, 2009

Dookie Finger

A coup de grace where one drags their finger through their ass and wipes it under a rivals nose. Though, not used very often after adolescence, a dookie finger carries more weight than a slap in the face with a white glove.

Jacob wanted to give her a dirty sanchez before she dumped him but she wouldn't let him tap that ass, so he had to settle for a dookie finger.

by keifermail August 14, 2009

FUG

An acronym for Fat Ugly Girl.

Mike tried to set me up with his sister but I saw her once at the pool and she is a FUG.

by keifermail August 28, 2008

Butch Chaser

A straight man that is attracted to tom-boyish, more athletic women who dressed simply with little or no makeup, etc. Unfortunately, many of these women are lesbians. See butch, bull dyke, etc. Not to be confused with a fag hag who knowingly befriend homosexual men, the Butch Chaser is simply attracted to women who most often are lesbians by default.

"Steve's a Butch Chaser, he thinks that dump truck driver lady was hot."

by keifermail July 23, 2009