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Keifermail's definitions

Asskissitis

Contagious disease that is caused by employees seeing others getting promoted by kissing the bosses ass and they follow suit. Symptoms include brown nose and lips with blindness to the bosses ineptitude.
Have you seen how brown Sheila's lips are lately, looks like she has a bad case of asskissitis.
by keifermail June 29, 2009
mugGet the Asskissitismug.

Heinous Anus Fragrance

Flatulence of the worst kind. A severe fart that is like an obscene phone call from nature. The air--dank, fetid, unsavory and far from fresh--feels as if it is being exhaled into one's face from a nuclear blast channeled through an unkempt brown eye. Sometimes the smell even tastes like effluvious rotting death- beer vomit, infected diarrhea, gangrene, and the mystery smell of the river entering the ocean at low tide, amplifying the intrusion of feculent compost. It is obscene and repulsive, harsh and violent at the same time. In close proximity, miles from the barking bowels of the guilty anus, the air maintains this quality of putrid death, although unknown where it acquired a tinge of Satan's rectum, perhaps due to fumes expelled by tormented souls asses being delivered by rancid demons.
A smell awoke him. It was a scent as old as time. It was a hundred aromas of a thousand skunks. It was the tang of sweaty underarm. It was the musk of rough anal sex. It was the muscular rot of Gruyère cheese in urine. It was the spice of rotting savorous road kill. Meaty and redolent of death with decay and repugnant rot. It was horrid and offensive and nauseating and obscene. It was solid and alive - so alive! And it was close, lying right next to him in fact. The vapors invaded his nostrils and his hair rose to their roots. His eyes were as heavy as manhole covers, but he opened them. Through the dying calm inside him snaked the horrible realization that she had expelled another heinous anus fragrance.
by keifermail April 15, 2014
mugGet the Heinous Anus Fragrancemug.

Log The Hog

Reference to a man having sex with a fat chick. To log the hog one has to be a chubby chaser that wins a game of nail the whale.
Dude, Nick brags about all that bearded clam he's been getting, but all he's been doing is logging the hogs. Apparently- Nick loves to log the hog.
by keifermail August 5, 2009
mugGet the Log The Hogmug.

Sham Wowed

The moment of truth that occurs when you find out something you thought was really great is really all a facade. see Sham
I just got sham wowed. I was checking out this hot chicks ass and she turned around and 'snap' dude looked like a lady!
by keifermail September 30, 2009
mugGet the Sham Wowedmug.

Living off the government tit

Literally, a low life that is able bodied, yet lives off government assistance. I.E. Welfare, WIC, Food Stamps etc. etc.

In the film Forrest Gump, Forrest asks Lt. Dan what he's doing now when he sees him for the first time after they arrive home. Lt. Dan, who has lost both legs and is confined to a wheelchair, states, "Living off the government tit."

The phrase is a reference to Lt. Dan's receiving a monthly stipen for the loss of his lower limbs.

In recent years, the term has a negative connotation and is often used to describe healthy welfare recipients that are able to work but choose not to because they are satisfied with their welfare checks for doing nothing.
The people living off the government tit are the largest voter pool for the democratic party.

Living off the government tit is free ride for people who realize government cheese is preferable to gainful employment.
by keifermail July 12, 2009
mugGet the Living off the government titmug.

fuck her down

To fuck a girl so correctiy that she is unable to stand afterwards.
K’s girlfriend in Blade Runner 2049, I would Fuck Her Down!
by keifermail January 14, 2018
mugGet the fuck her downmug.

low riders

Refers to homosexual men wearing their pants low on the hip to expose colorful underwear in an attempt to attract a mate. The low riding pants signifies easy access to the mans rear compartment and not so subtly letting the other man know that he is on the down low. Originated in American prisons as a form of peacocking around the cell block. See alsoteardrop tattoo.
"Since I been wearing my FUBU's low riders style, I been getting hit on by dudes everywhere I go."
by keifermail August 8, 2009
mugGet the low ridersmug.

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