Keifermail's definitions

too much loft

Is a sarcastic derogatory double entendre , usually made after a terrible golf shot. The key is the acronym l.o.f.t. meaning lack of fucking talent. It is best used against an unsuspecting victim who presumes by loft you mean the loft of the golf club.

Playing partner, "I think you had too much loft on that shot."
Shot maker, "No, I just caught it a little fat."
Playing partner, "By L.O.F.T. I meant lack of fucking talent, dillweed."

by keifermail August 23, 2008

Whack My Pug

N. Choke the chicken, manhandle the salami, whack off, spank the monkey, manually express semen, beat the meat, shake hands with your one-eyed best friend. To master your own domain.

"First thing I did when I got home was whack my pug. I swear I ain't never going to another cheer leading competition."

by keifermail July 12, 2009

Assfuckitis

Chronic state of being an assfuck.

Sheila has a severe case of assfuckitis.

by keifermail August 8, 2009

Finishing Position

N. Alternate name for doggy style. The name is derived from men's inability to last very long in this position. Hence, once he starts getting it doggie, he's finished.

"Ward's ass came home drunk and frisky. He was on top of me riding away- blowing his beer breath all over me, I couldn't take anymore so I rolled over into the finishing position and let nature take it's course."

by keifermail December 10, 2009

Giving up some neck

The act of receiving deepthroat.

"I hid in the closet and watched Janet giving up some neck to Randy. It was like Linda Lovelace on Ron Jeremy."

by keifermail July 12, 2009

Deja Stew

Soup of the day that tastes just like yesterday's but has a different name.

Dude, the Golden Lentil Soup tastes just like yesterday's Newfoundland Style Pea Soup- deja stew!

by keifermail December 24, 2009

Lean Over

A light hangover. Very similar to a hangover except you are not hanging, just leaning.

Keifer: "Dude, I feel a little hungover, I only had three beers."
Neal: "You're having a lean over, man. You're only halfway there, you might as well have gotten completely smashed."

by keifermail July 12, 2009