Manhandle the Salami

N. To masturbate or the act of receiving a hand job.
"All girls want to do is manhandle the salami, whatever happened to giving up some neck."
by keifermail July 12, 2009
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two backed beast

N. Old literary term for sexual copulation. The most famous being a quote from William Shakespeare's Othello where Iago informs the King that his daughter has been having sex with a black man. Though modern high school students generally assume that making the two back beast is a reference to doing it doggy style the literal meaning in the 15th century was sex face to face or in the missionary position.
"If you tell Momma I was spying on you, then I'll tell her you and Jorge were making the two backed beast."

William Shakespeare. Othello. (1605): Iago: ' I am one, sir, that comes to tell you, your daughter and the Moor are now making-the-beast-with-two-backs .'
by keifermail July 28, 2008
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Sham Wowed

The moment of truth that occurs when you find out something you thought was really great is really all a facade. see Sham
I just got sham wowed. I was checking out this hot chicks ass and she turned around and 'snap' dude looked like a lady!
by keifermail September 30, 2009
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Cinderella Bride

Cinderella is a well-known classic folk tale embodying a myth-element of unjust oppression/triumphant and reward.
The word "cinderella" has, by analogy, come to mean one whose attributes are unrecognised, or one who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect.

A Cinderella Bride is a woman who is unrecognizable on her wedding day because of her new found beauty. Usually the bride has used her wedding date as motivation to lose weight and dropped many pounds. She splurges on a beautiful dress that she would otherwise never have put on because she prefers to wear sweats and t-shirts. She has her hair uncharacteristically styled at a chic salon and her make-up done by an artist.

Like Cinderella, when the ball is over, she goes back to being plain and mundane. But, she does have some nice pictures.
"Andrea was a Cinderella Bride. She dropped like 50 lbs, put on some make-up for the first time and looked great in her wedding dress."
by keifermail July 13, 2009
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Deja Stew

Soup of the day that tastes just like yesterday's but has a different name.
Dude, the Golden Lentil Soup tastes just like yesterday's Newfoundland Style Pea Soup- deja stew!
by keifermail December 24, 2009
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Assfuckitis

Chronic state of being an assfuck.
Sheila has a severe case of assfuckitis.
by keifermail August 08, 2009
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Heinous Anus Fragrance

Flatulence of the worst kind. A severe fart that is like an obscene phone call from nature. The air--dank, fetid, unsavory and far from fresh--feels as if it is being exhaled into one's face from a nuclear blast channeled through an unkempt brown eye. Sometimes the smell even tastes like effluvious rotting death- beer vomit, infected diarrhea, gangrene, and the mystery smell of the river entering the ocean at low tide, amplifying the intrusion of feculent compost. It is obscene and repulsive, harsh and violent at the same time. In close proximity, miles from the barking bowels of the guilty anus, the air maintains this quality of putrid death, although unknown where it acquired a tinge of Satan's rectum, perhaps due to fumes expelled by tormented souls asses being delivered by rancid demons.
A smell awoke him. It was a scent as old as time. It was a hundred aromas of a thousand skunks. It was the tang of sweaty underarm. It was the musk of rough anal sex. It was the muscular rot of Gruyère cheese in urine. It was the spice of rotting savorous road kill. Meaty and redolent of death with decay and repugnant rot. It was horrid and offensive and nauseating and obscene. It was solid and alive - so alive! And it was close, lying right next to him in fact. The vapors invaded his nostrils and his hair rose to their roots. His eyes were as heavy as manhole covers, but he opened them. Through the dying calm inside him snaked the horrible realization that she had expelled another heinous anus fragrance.
by keifermail April 15, 2014
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