JDMGio's definitions

bear in mind

Due to the unfettering threat of bear attacks - stemmed by one Mr. Stephen Colbert - it is an idiom that suggests one should be mindful of there surroundings, especially when one ventures into known bear territory (Note: Terra Firma is considered bear territory).

This phrase can intrinsically refer to Melissophobia as well.

Suzy: "You wanna go on a hike up Blood Mountain?"

Trevor: "I'd love too! We should bear in mind the dangers of hiking that mountain though."

Suzy: "Bear in mind what dan-"

*Out of nowhere, a black bear (ninja bear) mauls Suzy to death. Trevor is speechless. . . but goes on the hike anyways. The End.*

by JDMGio January 19, 2011

hand-held darkness eliminator

An awesomely descriptive name for a flashlight (or torch if you hail outside the United States).

Peter: Hey Steve, would you be so kind as to let me borrow your flashlight?

Steve: Oh, you mean my hand-held darkness eliminator? You can on the condition that you swear to guard and protect it with your life, for its powers are unmeasurable and should not be toyed with by mere mortals!

Peter: So. . . does that mean it's like solar powered or something?

by JDMGio March 26, 2011

smokification

Noun
- the act, or result of smoking (particularly in reference to Marijuana).

After a long night of alcoholic-induced gallivanting and merriment, Jason ventured home to partake in some rather elevating smokification.

by JDMGio September 28, 2010

Brewbarian

An uncivilized and savage individual whose idiosyncrasies are cultivated and sustained by the vast consumption of alcohol.
One must be wary when consorting with brewbarians, for they will unscrupulously pillage and plunder any women, provisions, riches and ale that come within their reach. By nature, they are devoid of logic and reason.

You should have seen Patrick this weekend; he went into total brewbarian mode. Not only did he drink his weight in delicious craft beer, but he successfully fought three ne'er-do-wells and wooed their lady folk accordingly.

by JDMGio October 7, 2010

snoregasm

A snoregasm commences when one slowly begins to snore. Gradually the snoring increases in both loudness and inflection until said snorer reaches the climactic audibility at which point he or she abruptly stops snoring. At this point the snoregasm has been achieved. Post snoregasm, one may or may not disenthrall a sigh of relief.

Whilst watching the football game at Steve's house, Corpulent Carl maliciously consumed nearly all 24 PBRs he had brought with him. Not even reaching the final quarter of the game, Carl abruptly became inexorably comatose in Steve's recliner at which point he began to snore. The snoring became exponentially louder and louder with every breath that was taken until those violent flood gates opened and snoregasm was achieved. With a sigh of relief and satifaction, Carl rolled to his side releasing a fowl, sulfuric fart. Steve, being a sober witness to the events, was never the same. The image of Corpulent Carl's daunting smile post snoregasm forever haunts his dreams.

by JDMGio December 23, 2009

Brobarian

Much like a broseph, a brobarian is equal to that of a bro, dude, man, etc. with the defining characteristics of being a rather large individual, usually quite muscular and strong, and being the friend that typically starts/finishes fights.

Jason: Dude, I wouldn't mess with Patrick if I were you, he's a fucking brobarian of mine.

Andy: Yeah, and what if I do mess with him?

PATRICK: I WILL FUCKING CRUSH YOUR FACE AND BEAT YOU WITH MY 5 IRON.

by JDMGio February 10, 2010

scamwich

The act of bribing someone with a tasty sandwich as payment for aiding in a strenuous/superfluous endeavor.

*Recipients should be wary, bribers may or may not renege on sandwich payment.*

Will: "Hey Mac, would you mind helping me load these 57 bags of concrete mix into my truck?"

Mac: "Are you serious!?! I've got other sh-"

Will:"There is a Publix Chicken Tender sub in it for you."

Mac: "Damn you and your scamwich tactics!. . . alright, I'll help."

by JDMGio October 27, 2010