JDMGio's definitions

hand-held darkness eliminator

An awesomely descriptive name for a flashlight (or torch if you hail outside the United States).

Peter: Hey Steve, would you be so kind as to let me borrow your flashlight?

Steve: Oh, you mean my hand-held darkness eliminator? You can on the condition that you swear to guard and protect it with your life, for its powers are unmeasurable and should not be toyed with by mere mortals!

Peter: So. . . does that mean it's like solar powered or something?

by JDMGio March 26, 2011

smokification

Noun
- the act, or result of smoking (particularly in reference to Marijuana).

After a long night of alcoholic-induced gallivanting and merriment, Jason ventured home to partake in some rather elevating smokification.

by JDMGio September 28, 2010

bear in mind

Due to the unfettering threat of bear attacks - stemmed by one Mr. Stephen Colbert - it is an idiom that suggests one should be mindful of there surroundings, especially when one ventures into known bear territory (Note: Terra Firma is considered bear territory).

This phrase can intrinsically refer to Melissophobia as well.

Suzy: "You wanna go on a hike up Blood Mountain?"

Trevor: "I'd love too! We should bear in mind the dangers of hiking that mountain though."

Suzy: "Bear in mind what dan-"

*Out of nowhere, a black bear (ninja bear) mauls Suzy to death. Trevor is speechless. . . but goes on the hike anyways. The End.*

by JDMGio January 19, 2011

blizzsurd

An absurd amount of snow/ice accumulation during a snowstorm. Airport closures, high rates of traffic accidents and general mass chaos typically ensue.

This past January seemed quite blizzsurd, seeing how the entire Eastern seaboard was heavily blanketed in snow and ice. Luckily I wasn't one of those poor bastards stuck in an airport or in there car.

by JDMGio February 21, 2011

Brewbarian

An uncivilized and savage individual whose idiosyncrasies are cultivated and sustained by the vast consumption of alcohol.
One must be wary when consorting with brewbarians, for they will unscrupulously pillage and plunder any women, provisions, riches and ale that come within their reach. By nature, they are devoid of logic and reason.

You should have seen Patrick this weekend; he went into total brewbarian mode. Not only did he drink his weight in delicious craft beer, but he successfully fought three ne'er-do-wells and wooed their lady folk accordingly.

by JDMGio October 7, 2010

Boner Bucks

The defacement of a U.S. dollar bill by adding a "B" to the beginning and a "r" to the end of the word "one" on the back of said bill. This is preferably done with a Sharpie so as to make the defacement that much more prevalent and noticeable.

Once a bill has been converted into a Boner Buck, it can and should only be used in transactions involving strippers and/or ladies of the street (prostitutes). Any other use of said bill is vehemently frowned upon.

Boys get your Boner Bucks ready, we are hitting up Mons Venus tonight! On a side note - you better bring an arsenal of Boner Bucks if you want a Rusty Tromblumpkin.

by JDMGio September 2, 2010

scamwich

The act of bribing someone with a tasty sandwich as payment for aiding in a strenuous/superfluous endeavor.

*Recipients should be wary, bribers may or may not renege on sandwich payment.*

Will: "Hey Mac, would you mind helping me load these 57 bags of concrete mix into my truck?"

Mac: "Are you serious!?! I've got other sh-"

Will:"There is a Publix Chicken Tender sub in it for you."

Mac: "Damn you and your scamwich tactics!. . . alright, I'll help."

by JDMGio October 27, 2010