5 definitions by Incinerator1990

Top Definition
Pronounced Joo-Dee-Izum (as opposed to joo-day-izum), Judaism is the first monotheistic religion still around today, and possibly of all time. Unlike many other religions, Judaism doesnt want you to follow The Torah exactly, and gives room for you to live your own life. There are many different forms of Judaism, but there are 4 very big ones:

The first type of jew is orthodox. These jews follow the book very strictly, such as keeping kosher, wearing kippas and lighting shabbat candles; although they still have room to wear normal clothes and appear as normal people.

Second type: Hasidic. Hasidic jews are like orthodox jews who also wear nice clothes, a hat, and have peyes (The Curly Sideburns) usually when a jew is stereotyped in a movie this is how they appear, two famous hasidic jews are The Hebrew Hammer (fictional), and Matisyahu (a Hasidic Jew who raps in the Jamaican style).

The third type is conservative: These jews follow many jewish rules, but do not always keep kosher and wear yarmulkes (another word for kippah). I used to be conservative, but my "temple" was snobby so we found a new one.

The last type is reform: Reform jews are still jews who practice their religion (or at least I do) but have adjusted to the modern world, such as wearing normal clothes, not ALWAYS keeping kosher, and not lighting sabbath candles. I am reform, and enjoy being so because its like having a comfortable recliner.

Despite common beliefs Jews arent really greedy, but we do loves us some bagels (with shmeer)!
1) I am Jewish, so i make good bagels.
2) Hi, I am an Orthodox Jew, so i have to go light my candles now.
3) Hello, I am a Hasidic Jew, I do not mix meat and dairy and I buy food with (U) on it, or if it says Kosher for Passover.
4) Hey, I am a Conservative Jew sometimes i buy stuff that says its kosher, but i enjoy a cheeseburger every once in a while.
5) Yo, I am a Reform Jew, I dont really check to see if things are kosher, because I just eat things that taste good, although sometimes i keep kosher cause i love my religion; I, too enjoy cheeseburgers every once in a while.

6)Im sorry this definition of Judaism took so long, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, and if you arent Jewish, i hope you enjoy your religion too. :)
by Incinerator1990 April 08, 2006
When a man ejaculates on to a female, or male's chest and then they rub it around until the chest is shiny like a clean table.
"Dude i totally gave Sally a clean table last night; when it dried she had to scratch the crust off. HAHA!!!
by Incinerator1990 April 11, 2006
1) Another term for "pussy" as a noun that you use only when referring to the act of sex. As in "I'm going to get some pussy" Translated: "I'm going to get some weeble-weeble-wobble-wobble." Where it was originated was lost, but rumor has it that it was created by some Jewish young adults around the year 2006. This word has gone down in history as one of the most confusing words to use in a sentence.

2) Means getting some pussy at secret ebents.
Rambo: I'm just lookin' for a little Weeble-weeble-Wobble-wobble!
Zack: Ahhhhh HAAAAAA-Feyyyyyy...
Rambo: Ok, so maybe just a little AAIH AAIH. ;D
by Incinerator1990 September 04, 2006
A religion that spouted off of judaism 100-200 years before the year 0. They believe in Jesus christ being the son of god, and that if you dont believe that you are going to hell. Some christians have decided to be more lax and say only SOME people are going to hell. Some Uber-christians hate everyone who isnt exactly like them, but tries to prech peace and tolerance. Although many believe Christianity to be a monotheistic religion, in all actuality it would be called a duo-theistic religion because they have two gods.
Mary was only a half virgin, but so she could father the founder of christianity was told: "You can suck all the dick you want and still be a virgin... MARY!"
~Excerpt from "Mr. Hankeys Christmas Classics"
by Incinerator1990 April 08, 2006
A) Someone who eats nothing that has anything to do with animals. Nothing... at all. Nope, not even milk, soymilk, but not milk. They do not realize that plants are living things too, with children and parents, and brothers and sister. I actually just eat plastic, lets hope to god that it doesnt turn out to be alive.

B) 2nd step to becoming a Nazi.
Billy is a vegan, he eats nothing except plants. Too bad, though. The little cabbage never saw it coming. *sniff*

Damn plant eaters...
by Incinerator1990 August 23, 2006

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