'Desert Dick' or as it sometimes referred to 'SPGS' (Sandy Penis Gulf Syndrome) or PTDDD (Post Traumatic Desert Dick Disorder) first came into origin around the 1980s during the first Gulf War Conflict. It is the gradual build up of sand around the Penis glans from extended Desert winds and Sand Storms mostly experienced by U.S. male Soldiers. While it is not a malady that female soldiers can get, they are still affected by the Desert Dick Syndrome. During coitus with a male soldier the female soldier can sometimes be overheard stating, "Oh my God, that feels like Sandpaper! Do you have Desert Dick?" At that point you can simply ignore her, deny having Desert Dick, or simply give her a firm "Camel Punch" in the back of the head.
The 'Desert Dick' should never be confused with the 'Dessert Dick' which is entirely different but oft mispelled or mistaken. The 'Dessert Dick' involves gently laying the penis on a long boat-shaped bowl, adding strawberries, banana slices, some Cool Whip, and gently topping your nuts with nuts.
Man, I'm so tired of having Desert Dick. I could try soaking my penis but I heard that there's a sandstorm on the way so why bother??