Cunty Fresh Fanatic's definitions

cold cremator

A drum partly filled with sodium hydroxide (commonly called lye or caustic soda) and water, used to fully dissolve a human body over a period of several days. Favored by organized crime, warlords and serial killers, for body disposal.

criminal 1: Why you got all of these drums in your garage?

criminal 2: Those are my cold cremators. I dissolve potential snitches and bitchy girlfriends in them.

criminal 1: Cool!

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 16, 2010

cunty fresh aroma

The smell or lack thereof, of a freshly cleansed vagina and vulva.

me: Your cunty fresh aroma, makes my heart melt. Ummm.

she: Your weird, but my cunt has never been so fucking clean. Enjoy.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 22, 2010

vagi-gard

The best kept secret of clean crotched women across the globe. A heavy duty povidone-iodine douche. Basically, the last over-the-counter resort women have.

woman 1: If it wasn't for vagi-gard, I would have been in the ER for sure.

woman 2: Thank heavens. Want to scissor with that extra clean bearded clam of yours?

(Scissoring ensues. Without a funky mess mind you.)

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic March 23, 2012

Luxury Fuck You

A snobby way of telling somebody "fuck you", simply by boasting about your personal wealth. You must be wealthy, first.

middle-class bitch: Eventhough I didn't show it in high school, I always respected you. I know I was in the in crowd, and you were just a wallflower. Now that we're older we should do lunch, some time.

new money man: I'll have to pass on that. As you can tell by the Lamborghini, I don't drive Toyota Camry's anymore.

middle-class bitch: Was that a Luxury Fuck You?

new money man: Fucking A right it was.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 31, 2011

testicle paradox

The shocking phenomenon, in which the slightest pressure upon an unaroused man's testicles causes pain. Yet during sexual arousal, the testicles can take repetitive strikes painlessly and/or pleasurably.

Woman strikes man with pillow in balls. He falls to ground in fetal position moaning in agony.

Woman feels bad, decides to break him a piece of ass. He fucks all three hole's like a human jackhammer, all night long.

Woman experienced the testicle paradox.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 10, 2010

stepfather syndrome

The psycho-sexual disorder that most stepfather's suffer from to some degree. It involves a severe crush on the stepdaughter.

WARNING SIGNS:

1. Missing or misplaced panties of the stepdaughter. 2. Stepfather staring at stepdaughter's breasts and/or buttocks. 3. The stepfather using long embraces (sometimes accompanied with an erection) as greetings and farewells, as an excuse to squish the stepdaughter's breasts into his body. 4. Expensive presents for the stepdaughter. 5. Jealous behaviour towards stepdaughter's boyfriends.

stepdaughter: Good morning dad.

stepfather: (barrels over and hugs stepdaughter) Good morning pumpkin.

stepdaughter: (Tries to squirm out of the perverts long hug.) What's wrong with you? Let go of me.

stepfather: I've been diagnosed with stepfather syndrome.

stepdaughter: Yuk!

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 8, 2010

Barack Cock

The feeling of bewilderment a woman feels, when she rascistly expects a black man to be well hung, and he is only average (five inches or less) sized.

Joyce: I expected Jamal to be meaty, but his Irish heritage showed up in his crotch. I've gotten deeper penetration from a maxi pad.

Cheryl: Oh, you mean tampon?

Joyce: I mean maxi pad, a total Barack Cock. I bet your clit is longer.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 20, 2010