Cuksocker's definitions

apoocalypse

A devastating explosion of excrement.

Wow, have you seen the apoocalypse in the third floor toilets? Is it the HR department holding another dirty protest?' 'No, it's that new contractor from Wilmslow. The cleaners have put up a new sign in the toilet saying "Please leave these facilities in the condition that you would wish to find them", and he took it literally.'

by cuksocker December 18, 2010

shitting in reverse

The circumstance where you find yourself in the position of needing to defacate but unable to locate a suitable venue for the proceedings. The resultant clenching of the sphincter in the hopes of preventing an incident of touching cloth results in the feeling that the incipient turd is reversing back up into your lower intestines.

May be performed intentionally in order to preserve the waiting feces for later use. E.G in a cleveland steamer.

Oh man, I hope we find a toilet soon. I'm shitting in reverse.

If I have shit in reverse again I'm going to end up spitting it out.

by cuksocker November 6, 2010

cuntractor

A contractor (especially an IT contractor) who is a cunt.

These new contractors on the project seem, OK, but I'm not sure about the American.' 'No, he's right up his own arse.' 'And he's a Marillion fan.' 'Ah, what a cuntractor.

by cuksocker November 9, 2010

bin day

Collection day for bins

Hey, it's bin day tomorrow, so make sure you put the bins out.

by cuksocker February 22, 2011

permiedom

Permanent employment (being a permie), as viewed by a contractor.

The contract market is so bad that I may be force to abase myself before the altar of permiedom.

by Cuksocker November 6, 2010

assguru

Experienced but ageing toilet trader

I bumped into Luke last night.

Really, is he still in business? He's old but he's still got the moves. A real assguru!

by cuksocker November 9, 2010

gina ford

waterboard ), especially in a comic sense referring to strict punishments for children - rhyming slang derived from name of eminently well respected child rearing expert.

She won't stay on the naughty step, no matter what I do.
Gina Ford her. It always works for my kids.

by cuksocker December 26, 2010