7 definitions by Cristo39

Top Definition
Another failure of a show in TLC's seemingly infinite army of disliked television programs.

Sister Wives follows the daily life of a family (notice this is the same boring recurring theme for TLC) composed of four wives, countless children we can only help but feel sorry for, and the husband/father, Kody, who you may think is privileged for having so many wives, but in reality would be lucky to even have his warts infested penis touched by one of his either fat or ugly wives.

Any courageous viewer is tortured with many antagonizing questions like: why would any woman submit herself and her children to such a degrading lifestyle? (to which the answer may vary: 1 the woman is too lazy to work and support herself and her kids and buys a quick ticket to financial support from Kody, 2 the woman just wants to be famous and on one of the worst TV shows since ever, or 3 yes, there ARE some retarded women that support polygamy), how are the children going to turn out? (to which there is only one answer: just as fucked up as their parents), and how can a family more populous than China afford a semi-mansion and more food than Half-Ton Dad and Half-Ton Mom (you guessed it - more TLC failures) are capable of eating? (to which the answer no one knows but to which everyone hopes Uncle Sam will force them into bankruptcy and end the viewers' pain.)
I banged up my knee pretty good last night, so I decided to watch Sister Wives and endure the mental torture to take away the pain from my knee.
by Cristo39 May 24, 2011
Variant of douche bag and douche. Douchie is used in an affectionate manner to describe a person who commits acts ofdouche baggery but is nevertheless forgiven and loved for who he or she is. A douchie is typically appreciated whereas a douche is not.
From girlfriend to boyfriend: "I can't believe you just made fun of Jenn's muffin top. You're such a douchie".
by Cristo39 March 03, 2010
The act of a female walking in public after having received a facial or having been the target of a bukkake without any sanitization. Clothes optional.
Dude 1: "Damn look at that chick show off that load of wad!"
Dude 2: "She's really doing a cum walk like a pro."
by Cristo39 November 29, 2011
Acronym for Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, and Spain.

As of 2010, these five countries are the most financially troubled of the Euro zone and are facing consequences varying from drastic austerity measures to possible forced disassociation from the Euro currency.

The crisis originated in Greece when its sovereign debt ratings were cut in December of 2009. It was later revealed in February of 2010 the Greek government hid massive amounts of debt using complex financial derivatives with the aid of US investment bank Goldman Sachs. In May of 2010, Greece was forced to implement a series of austerity measures in an effort to reduce the government's deficit in order to accept renegotiated loan agreements.

Spain later implemented austerity measures and also saw its sovereign debt ratings cut by rating firm Standard & Poors. Portugal, Italy, and Ireland were also added and now make up what is considered the five most at-risk countries of the Eurozone.
Many observers are quick to point out the fallout of PIIGS is a precursor of what's coming to America.
by Cristo39 September 13, 2010
Phrase used as a directive to conceal unethical or illegal activity. Made popular by an e-mail sent between portfolio and hedge fund managers currently being charged by the SEC for insider trading.
Analyst: Shit, I think the SEC asshole with the ugly pink and baby blue tie is onto us.
Manager: Shred as much as u can
by Cristo39 February 08, 2011
Tendency for the penis to erect when dozing off in a long and dull conference call or other business meeting. The reason for dozing off may arise for any wide variety of reasons (such as a boring and monotonous presenter, the absence of good looking women at the meeting, or having gone without coffee for a long period of time), but the result is similar to morning wood.

If conference call wood is still observable at the end of the conference call or business meeting, the recommended path of action is to remain seated pretending to be fully occupied on his Blackberry until the situation subsides.
Analyst 1: Dude, you coming?
Analyst 2: In a minute brah. I have conference call wood.
by Cristo39 July 28, 2011
Fucking ugly face.

Closely related: fugly
That chick looked good from behind. But as she turned around, I noted she had a fuglace.
by Cristo39 February 09, 2011

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