Definitions by Colin 100

wage slave

Someone playing the victim, who works in a place voluntarily but wants to pretend there's an obligation forcing them to be there.

"You ain't no wage slave actually, honey. Door's over there! Woss stoppin' you leavin' if you likes? Why nuttin! Nuttin stoppin you leavin at all. So stop your moanin' an pretendin' an get real."

wage slave by Colin 100 December 29, 2015

front door pause 

The momentary doorstep halt while you check you have your keys, before pulling the front door shut.

"Why's that guy stood there like a statue with his front door still open?"
"Dude, he's probably having his front door pause."

front door pause by Colin 100 November 2, 2013

sense of humour pill 

A pill some people need to take in order to restore their sense of humour.

They're green, with raised red letters that say SoH, and taste like sugar candy.

"This happens to some poor unfortunate guy, and you write that? You cock-eyed cretin, f*** off, idiot."

"Take your sense of humour pill, Nick."

sense of humour pill by Colin 100 December 9, 2012

daymare 

A seriously bad dream, but experienced during daylight hours.

"I had a nightmare yesterday."

"Oh? At what precise time did this happen?"

"During my afternoon siesta."

"Dude, that wasn't a nightmare. That was a daymare!"

daymare by Colin 100 December 9, 2012

marriage 

An international concept that entails a union between a man and a woman.

"We're going to get married."

"But Dan, you're a guy, and Hector is a guy too. How can you possibly get married? It isn't possible."

"It is now!"

"It won't really be a marriage though, will it? You need a man and a woman for that."

marriage by Colin 100 December 9, 2012

the hard way 

How you learn your lessons in life when you never listened to your father.

"That Desmond, he only ever learns the hard way, don't he?"

"He never listened to his father, that's why."

the hard way by Colin 100 December 5, 2012

AIDS

What men get by sticking their penises up other men's bottoms.

..."That disease he has does an awful job on you. Your lungs fill up."
"Well, he should have kept his penis out of other men's bottoms then," Janice says, lowering her voice though, so the nurses and orderlies in the hall don't hear.
~ "Rabbit at Rest", by John Updike (1990)

"You want to know why I don’t have AIDS, why I'm not HIV-positive like so many other people? I don’t fuck around. It’s as simple as that."
~ "Timequake", by Kurt Vonnegut (1997)

AIDS by Colin 100 December 5, 2012