CPT Ron's definitions
A simp, but to a huge degree. Millennial or Zoomer who thinks he can nice guy his way into women’s pants, then gets all enraged when it doesn’t work because woman don’t actually like simps. The simpanzee is significantly worse than a simp in degree.
Look at my man buying his “best female friend” dinner again so he can not close with her. My man is a simpanzee.
by CPT Ron July 21, 2024
Get the Simpanzee mug.Noun. A person who makes a great display, either physical or verbal, of constantly being offended by very small things. Normally found in an urban area of the United States. Common offendopotamus behavior includes complaining about the temperature of their 4 dollar ethically sourced coffee, the quality of their 90 dollar steak, or how every Halloween costume is somehow racist, sexist, ableist, deist, etc.
I'm trying to get through the line at the coffee shop and this offendopotamus keeps holding up the line by demanding that the soy milk be heated to 160 degrees before it is put into her latte.
by CPT Ron November 3, 2017
Get the Offendopotamus mug."Man...that dirt hippie is wearing camping pants with no underwear. Would you look at that weiner lump? It is a like a leather sack full of nickels."
by CPT Ron October 12, 2013
Get the weiner lump mug.by CPT Ron October 7, 2019
Get the Exdubitably mug.Noun. When you find a concept that a person who is brilliant wrote, that you don't understand. You open the wikipedia article about that concept, and open tabs in your browser for all of the links in that wikipedia article that you also don't understand. Eventually, you have 25 tabs open and you hit the terminal point where you understand, then you work your way backwards through the other 24 tabs until you understand it all. Choose your own adventure books were books that had many possible endings depending on the pages you chose. They were entertainment circa 1985.
How does MD5 hashing work? It uses one way functions...How do one way functions work? Uh oh, time for a wikipedia choose your own adventure.
by CPT Ron November 14, 2017
Get the wikipedia choose your own adventure mug.This is a military term for aligning yourself in formation with the person in front of you, so that when viewed from the front of a formation you all are covered and aligned correctly.
In the vernacular, to cover down means to get someone's back when they fuck up.
Example: "Where is Jones, why isn't he here?"
"He's at dental sergeant."
That's covering down.
In the vernacular, to cover down means to get someone's back when they fuck up.
Example: "Where is Jones, why isn't he here?"
"He's at dental sergeant."
That's covering down.
When your wife drinks too much, you cover down on that shit, hold her hair out of the toilet, and tell nobody about it.
by CPT Ron May 25, 2020
Get the Cover Down mug.When you screw something up so badly in front of so many people, that you wish you were being pre-recorded on TV so you could ask the technical staff to literally "cut to commercial break." The cut to commercial break indicates that you have achieved an Xbox like screw up. If you were in a video game, the achievement "Worst thing you've done this year" would indicate below you on screen.
I had a savage, throbbing boner during my job interview yesterday. When I stood up, it kinked in my pants like a broken candy bar and I know the hiring manager saw it. I really wished I could have cut to commercial break. I could hear him telling his buddy I must be "fun sized" on the way out of the lobby.
by CPT Ron July 20, 2020
Get the Cut to Commercial Break mug.