Definitions by CPT Ron
Arbitragina
Arbitragina, pronounced AR-bitrahg-ina, is when you negotiate the value of nude photos or videos for an exchange of material goods.
I gave my girlfriend three sweatshirts and she ultimately gave me one video of her going to town. We engaged in arbitragina.
Arbitragina by CPT Ron April 27, 2026
Simpanzee
A simp, but to a huge degree. Millennial or Zoomer who thinks he can nice guy his way into women’s pants, then gets all enraged when it doesn’t work because woman don’t actually like simps. The simpanzee is significantly worse than a simp in degree.
Look at my man buying his “best female friend” dinner again so he can not close with her. My man is a simpanzee.
Dunkaroo
A dunkaroo is a sexual maneuver whereby a male of the species holds a woman of the species firmly by the hair. The male then penetrates said female anally for a undetermined period of time. The male then, while keeping control of the hair (this is important), scampers around the side of the women and places his penis in the woman's mouth while making a stirring motion with his hips. This is the dunkaroo.
"Do you see that filthy hosebeast over there by the keg? Last month at the Halloween party I dressed up like a kangaroo and did the dunkaroo on her. She got that booty mouth while dressed like a slutty Tinkerbell."
Cut to Commercial Break
When you screw something up so badly in front of so many people, that you wish you were being pre-recorded on TV so you could ask the technical staff to literally "cut to commercial break." The cut to commercial break indicates that you have achieved an Xbox like screw up. If you were in a video game, the achievement "Worst thing you've done this year" would indicate below you on screen.
I had a savage, throbbing boner during my job interview yesterday. When I stood up, it kinked in my pants like a broken candy bar and I know the hiring manager saw it. I really wished I could have cut to commercial break. I could hear him telling his buddy I must be "fun sized" on the way out of the lobby.
Cut to Commercial Break by CPT Ron July 20, 2020
Cover Down
This is a military term for aligning yourself in formation with the person in front of you, so that when viewed from the front of a formation you all are covered and aligned correctly.
In the vernacular, to cover down means to get someone's back when they fuck up.
Example: "Where is Jones, why isn't he here?"
"He's at dental sergeant."
That's covering down.
In the vernacular, to cover down means to get someone's back when they fuck up.
Example: "Where is Jones, why isn't he here?"
"He's at dental sergeant."
That's covering down.
When your wife drinks too much, you cover down on that shit, hold her hair out of the toilet, and tell nobody about it.
Cover Down by CPT Ron May 25, 2020
Exdubitably
Exdubitably by CPT Ron October 7, 2019
Velcro Shoes Smart
Noun. When a person is so incredibly brilliant that they can do something like invent an Iphone, but they cannot do simple things like tie their shoes so they wear velcro sneakers. The man who invented the microprocessor is velcro shoes smart.
Dr. K figured out how to put RAM, all the registers, flash memory, and the CPU all into one microcontroller. He is velcro shoes smart.
Velcro Shoes Smart by CPT Ron November 14, 2017