Idol of impressionable computer geeks
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because
the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn
their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord
Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds
love Tabasco Sauce, because
subjecting your tastebuds
to a food condiment
out of your tastebuds
is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho
for your less macho
peers. The testosterone increase
from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal
thrashing, perhaps causing
your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds
must routinely beat their women
to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds
will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds
do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside
to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just
on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Maddox isn't your role model
and god. Fucking
go outside and do something with your life. If you are any sort of a real man, you should be able to think independently rather than copycatting another loser.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page
In The Universe as very
clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts
of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem
of expendable wives.