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11 definitions by BrettS

 
1.
The phrase women use when they want to hear your heart actually break.
Often said after weeks of cock teasing.

For maximum effect, normally said when you think you are just about to get in her knickers but she is just about to walk out and get in a taxi with some better looking, fitter, richer guy, infront of all of you work mates.
"Oh I am sorry. I didn't realise you felt that way. You know we could never be anything more than colleagues. Lets just be friends"

*dull snap*

"oh?"
by BrettS June 11, 2005
 
2.
Used by women to gain power and/or humilate male friends and colleagues by the art of making perfectly normal men turn in to delusional idiots when they think the cock teaser actually has been wanting sex with them.

The magnitude of the effect is directly proportional to the time spent being teased and/or your position within the organisation
"That bitch has lead me on for weeks! And I told her the plans for our management restructure!"
"What a cock teasing you've had!"
by BrettS June 11, 2005
 
3.
Irn-Bru. Caffine high, sugar laden fruit flavoured soda very popular in Scotland.
Predominately drank on the West coast and affectionately refered to as "ginger" although this is universally mis-atributed to the bright orange colour (hence irn-bru)

Excellent for a buckfast hangover.
Bad for teeth and hyperactivity

(Scene: Glaswegian with travel pass from HMP Saughton at newsagent inside Waverly Railway Station, Edinburgh)
Aw man, ma hied is gieing me pelters. Do you hae any "ginger"?
"Ginger"? Do you mean Irn-Bru?
Aye
Well, learn to speak english, you soap dodging weegie ned, and I might sell you some.
by BrettS December 17, 2005
 
4.
The male genitilia, The penis
Bill Clinton looked down at his favourite intern eating his mancumber
by BrettS June 11, 2005
 
5.
The ugliest woman in the nightclub.

Probably wearing a cropped top and a short skirt, neither of which should be seen on anyone with such a high bodymass index as her. Most likely owner of a "cheeky devil flicking you the finger" tattoo in some random place on body but due to the huge expanse of flesh and lack of clothing you are going to see it. You will not be sure that the stretch marks are due to her obesity or worse, she has actually had kids!

Inexplicably, seems to be going out with the thinest, weasel faced, rip off designer clad guy in the nightclub.

Always smoking
"Jesus, will you look at the nick of that hypocrocogryph?!"
"That? Oh my God, Do you have you camera phone handy? I need to show the kids what happens when you eat too many McDs!"
"Look she has a boyfriend!"
"She must of shagged him thin, either that or likes his mancumber too much"
by BrettS October 09, 2005
 
6.
(1) Someone who partakes of bestiality
(2) An imflamitory libel, most likey causing the libeler to get a smack from the libelee
(2) The name given to men who make a habit of pulling the really ugly girls at 1.50am as the nightclub is winding up
(1) "Yes, M'Lord, when I arrested him, he was dog bothering."

(2) "Fuck off you dog botherer *ouch*"

(3) "It's getting late, the bar is about to shut and I cant find Bob!"
"Oh dont worry about him, he's a dog botherer. He will have pulled some fat bird!"
by BrettS June 11, 2005
 
7.
Ever organisation has somewhere that is a real shitty posting. The hostile staff dont work, the city is a crack infested unemployment hellhole, and there is a union rep which attempts to eat managers alive.
Your boss will tell you it's charcter building; he means it will make or break you and everyone else he has sent there has gone AWOL or got out on a Section 8.
-Did you here about Dave?
-No, what's wrong? Didnt he get promotion and moved to Dunfermline?
-Yeah, he is off sick with stress
-Poor guy, imagine getting a Tour of 'Nam
-Let's phone him up and shout "Hey Handjob, Charly's in the wire!"
by BrettS September 04, 2006