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Angus McCracken's definitions

Ball Vents

The holes that occur in your underwear, naturally, over time allowing your balls to get proper air circulation

The lack of ball vents is often the single.biggest contributing factor to someone unexpectantly and inappropriately whipping out their nuts.
My new underwear have no ball vents so my nuts feel like they are on fire.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Fart Pellet

The practical name of any bean consumed by males; most specifically baked beans. Sometimes referred to as Mexican Bullets if eaten as a part of a beef and bean burrito.
Whoaaa sorry Bro that is gonna stink. I had a whole bowl of fart pellets for lunch. Sorry man.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Bag Full of Monkeys

Describes the situation where more than 2 guys need to share the same condom with one girl.
I'd rather be a part of a bag full of monkeys than get a chick preggers. I'm a good citizen like dat.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Crazy Check

What all men universally fail to do 100% of the time before moving in with a girl.

A series of questions designed to evoke an overly emotional or possibly psychotic response that is disproportional to the subject of the question.
I should of given her the crazy check. She would of failed for sure !
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Field Card

Very similar to a V Card that one surrenders upon loosing ones virginity this is a military term for new recruits who masturbate for the first time while on a military exercise.
Sir I have got poison ivy on my dick from surrendering my field card.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Cooking From Scratch

When the last thing you did before food prep was scratch your nuts furiously.
He brags about cooking from scratch but I wonder what he scratched.
by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020
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Semen Soap

What you get after jerking off into the liquid soap container simply because it is the same color and texture as semen.
He was in the washroom so long people wondered if he was making semen soap.
by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020
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