3 definitions by 616Satan
The actual phrase that means two people ass to ass, passing an egg back and forth until one cannot return it. Loser typically is made out to eat the resulting egg
"I saw some dipshit playing Barnyard Tennis and calling it Farmyard Tennis. You could tell he's a city slicker, not only by what he called it, but also because he ate the shit covered shell with it when he lost, and didn't even hard-boil it first. Oh, and the nasty bastard was playing it with another dude."
by 616Satan January 16, 2022
An old high-school friend that seems trustworthy and will make up convincing, yet baseless stories about how they are currently successful and doing good things/bettering themselves, but whenever he asks you for a favor or says you can trust him with something, he will immediately use you for personal gain and never make it up to you no matter how deep your friendship/relationship with them runs, usually causing colateral damage towards you in order to get away with it, as well as blocking you off of all social media almost instantly in the process.
"Man I gotta tell you, I asked my friend, Zachariah, to help me move, and he stole my brand new beats bluetooth earbuds, headphones, and my speaker. When I asked where he put it, he said he left them in his car, and would go grab them real quick. I decided to walk outside and when he got in his car to grab them, he closed, locked the door and started driving off. I hopped in my car and started to drive after him until I noticed he slashed one of my tires beforehand, while I wasn't looking. I tried to call him but he already blocked me off everything, including his phone. Later, one of my friends told me he pawned them off at half their price for hard drugs in front of my friend without even worrying about being judged for it. If I ever see that half-brained, scrawny, short-ass bastard again, I'll end him with my bare hands."
by 616Satan January 16, 2022
It's a common misconception that a Dracula Sneeze is the act of sneezing into your elbow pit, but this is not the case. A Dracula Sneeze is when a vampire sneezes, accidentally turning them into a bat.
Your friends probably have already caught on, before seeing this being that you don't show any skin in the sunlight due to burning, (which is why we only hangout with NonVamps (NVs) A.K.A. BloodBanks at night, and make up excuses like saying we're working when they ask to chill during the day.),
This is assuming that you aren't a darker-skinned female (or any skin tone, if done properly, and if you don't speak and are a shorter/slimmer male, the disguise can work as well.) that pretends to be a muslim and covers every inch of skin in fabric, known as Musliars, except it has no prevention from Dracula Sneezes. Not many fellow vampires are aware of this method due to the demographic that uses/invented it having a considerably small population in our community.
Unlike popular media portrays, transforming into a bat and back isn't something that's easily done on command, comparable to the difficulty of orgasming on command, which is also a way to turn, called a Draculasm Which is even harder to do to turn back, since the only practical way is to mate with another bat, vampire or not, and Draculasm. However, only another vampire can impregnate a female vamp.
Your friends probably have already caught on, before seeing this being that you don't show any skin in the sunlight due to burning, (which is why we only hangout with NonVamps (NVs) A.K.A. BloodBanks at night, and make up excuses like saying we're working when they ask to chill during the day.),
This is assuming that you aren't a darker-skinned female (or any skin tone, if done properly, and if you don't speak and are a shorter/slimmer male, the disguise can work as well.) that pretends to be a muslim and covers every inch of skin in fabric, known as Musliars, except it has no prevention from Dracula Sneezes. Not many fellow vampires are aware of this method due to the demographic that uses/invented it having a considerably small population in our community.
Unlike popular media portrays, transforming into a bat and back isn't something that's easily done on command, comparable to the difficulty of orgasming on command, which is also a way to turn, called a Draculasm Which is even harder to do to turn back, since the only practical way is to mate with another bat, vampire or not, and Draculasm. However, only another vampire can impregnate a female vamp.
Malicus: "Where's Eliza? It's time I tell her she's been my crush for 200 years"
Joe:"A month ago I saw her Dracula Sneeze in front of our NV group and fly off"
M:"Is she's okay?"
J: "She flew into a flight of bats so she's safe from preds"
M: "Well thank hell she's alright"
J:"I know ri-wait that's her!"
*Eliza walks in, derobing her musliar*
J:"Thank Hell you survived what happened? And Malicus has something to tell you after"
M:"Eliza you're okay!"
E: "I am! After I turned I grouped with bats led by a Fox Bat. I did what I had to with them except I didn't Draculasm which is what took so long.
J:"The?"
E:I didn't know he was a Vamp. I should've when he told the other bats to join in. He said it would help. It didn't even when they were vamps. I never thought my first would be with bats"
J:"How did you turn back?"
E:"I flew into a dust storm and kept sneezing. I didn't know if I'd stop as a vamp or bat so i feel lucky not having to give birth as one"
J:"Where is the vamp?"
E: "They changed course as soon as they saw and flew away laughing"
J:"I'm so sorry"
E"Wild ride amirite? But the worst part was trying to stay out of the sun"
M: *mumbling*
"ThisIsn'tHappeningThisIsn'tHap-"
E:"Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me? I love surprises!"
M: "Oh, I wanted to tell you that I uh had a, I"
*Malicus ran into the street immediately bursting into flaming guts, it being the middle of the day in the summer*
J: "All due to a measly Dracula Sneeze"
Joe:"A month ago I saw her Dracula Sneeze in front of our NV group and fly off"
M:"Is she's okay?"
J: "She flew into a flight of bats so she's safe from preds"
M: "Well thank hell she's alright"
J:"I know ri-wait that's her!"
*Eliza walks in, derobing her musliar*
J:"Thank Hell you survived what happened? And Malicus has something to tell you after"
M:"Eliza you're okay!"
E: "I am! After I turned I grouped with bats led by a Fox Bat. I did what I had to with them except I didn't Draculasm which is what took so long.
J:"The?"
E:I didn't know he was a Vamp. I should've when he told the other bats to join in. He said it would help. It didn't even when they were vamps. I never thought my first would be with bats"
J:"How did you turn back?"
E:"I flew into a dust storm and kept sneezing. I didn't know if I'd stop as a vamp or bat so i feel lucky not having to give birth as one"
J:"Where is the vamp?"
E: "They changed course as soon as they saw and flew away laughing"
J:"I'm so sorry"
E"Wild ride amirite? But the worst part was trying to stay out of the sun"
M: *mumbling*
"ThisIsn'tHappeningThisIsn'tHap-"
E:"Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me? I love surprises!"
M: "Oh, I wanted to tell you that I uh had a, I"
*Malicus ran into the street immediately bursting into flaming guts, it being the middle of the day in the summer*
J: "All due to a measly Dracula Sneeze"
by 616Satan January 16, 2022