flip flops or sandals, must have a strap between one or more toes, can be any material but leather is prefered
he came back from the beach and is still wearing his jesus shoes
Prying one's fat ass off the couch to get shit done. Ending (temporarily or permanently) one's sedentary lifestyle & actually doing shit.
Dude, delazify your ass & clean this shit hole up!
by Nasty Basty
A crease in your pants in the crotch section, which causes you to look like you're having an erection.
(especially embarrassing when you are a girl)
Everyone was looking at my pants boner, and then asked me if I was actually a boy.
(I am a girl)
The phrase that people say to their boss when they know that they have fucked up and their boss has yelled at them at them. This is the acceptable response apart from "sorry" that should be used when apologising to a boss. The harshness of the reason can vary from being late to shredding a court case report. The result is always the same, the accused, embarrassed and flustered, the boss, pissed off, saying "it better not" and the rest of the workers staring at the accused.
Boss: Hey Gary, have you seen the Johnson Parking ticket case? It was on my desk.
Gary: Was it on the same corner that is the shred pile?
Boss: Yes, have you seen it?
Gary: I kind of shredded it...
Boss: YOU DID WHAT???
Gary: But it was on the shred pile
Boss: ALWAYS ASK ME WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO SHRED SOMETHING. NOW GO INTO THE SHREDDER AND PICK OUT ALL THE PAPER FROM THE FILE AND STICK IT BACK TOGETHER!!!
Gary: Sorry Mr Stevens. It won't happen again.
Boss: It better not.
A nap taken after someone has consumed any amount of caffeine (i.e. coffee) resulting not in sleep, but blissful rest, while still mildly conscious.
Evelyn: Hey Kaitlyn, how was your coffee nap?
Kaitlyn: It was fantastic I listened to the whole LOVE album, while seeming to float on a cloud.
Evelyn: Awesome! I just had a latte, about to have a coffee nap of my own!
The act of delivering bad or unpleasant news via email at the very last point in the day, so as to purposely avoid being there when the response is received. Usually deployed just after 5pm or before going away on holiday.
Person 1 - “I really don’t want to have to deal with this”
Person 2 -“Why don’t you just do a send and run?”
Person 1 “I can’t, they gave me a blackberry”
Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.
Coined by Jon Stewart
'Did you hear Susan Collins saying how proud she was that Congress passed a bill to speed up air travel?'
'Yeah that bitch is just congratsturbating.'