two ass 

When a person is so fat that they have a large bulbous fat deposit hanging over their genitalia which in turn looks like an ass in the front. Sometimes there is even a defined crack that runs all the way from the belly button to the lower back.

Hey, I hear you hooked up with old two ass last night. Man that chick is fat.

two ass by shannon walls July 20, 2006

two ticket ass 

A severely overweight aircraft passenger that knowingly defies airline policy and purchases a single ticket for airfare, fully aware their ass will occupy two or more seats. "Two ticket asses" are usually female, and play dumb as they attempt to board the aircraft, as if not understanding what all the fuss is about. They take perverse pleasure in making the life of the stewardess (aka walrus handler) miserable.

"I'm sorry, madame. You have only a single ticket and this airline has a policy that mandates the purchase of two tickets for severely overweight passengers. You'll have to go back to the check-in counter. No, mam, this is not a joke."

"Dayum, Shanika's bangin. You see dat barrel she towin? Dat some two ticket ass!"

two ticket ass by Mark_J January 16, 2009

two seat ass 

A person so obese as to take up two seats on the bus or subway.

Man, my knee is fucking killing me but that two seat ass whale over there just sat down and took up the last two seats. They should make her buy two metropasses!

two seat ass by lardophobic December 9, 2011

couldn't find his ass with two hands 

Someone who does not have a clue about what is going on around them. A person that has to have jokes explained to them. Even worse, someone that acts as if they don't understand something even when they understand perfectly.

That jerkoff Devlin couldn't find his ass with two hands .

couldn't find his ass with two hands by dempsey4mk July 10, 2006

insert two apple in ass

when you shove appl in ass

guy 1: hey apl
guy 2: heyo apl
guy 3:HEY GUYS WHATS UP *insert two apple in ass* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
guy 2: god dammit man

insert two apple in ass by melancholicapple February 11, 2018

one in the grass two in the ass

Grass is her hairy bush,and ass is ass.

"One in the grass two in the ass? Reaaaal subtle,man."

one in the grass two in the ass by MaroneBone June 8, 2015

One in the ass is worth two in the puss 

An old adage meaning it is better to have sex with one ass, rather than with two vaginas.

Bob: I think Becky might let me go Greek on her this Friday, but I was supposed to have a three way with these Guatemalans the same night.

Joe: Times like these my grandpappy used to tell me “One in the ass is worth two in the puss”.

One in the ass is worth two in the puss by Yu Sho Me Dong September 18, 2023