sexcretary 

A secratary hired specifically so that the boss may have sex with him or her.

Tina got hired as a sexcretary, and boy are her hips sore.

sexcretary by Kittero December 28, 2004

Sexcretary 

(n.) A person who, for all intents and purposes, is hired in a traditional or nontraditional support role in which he or she functions as the gatekeeper for all sexual advances between two consenting adults in a monogamous relationship. Usually, the sexcretary intercepts all initial advances, much like a firewall, and forwards them into a queue to await further action, and, if necessary, determines the importance of the advance in conjunction with other events that may precede it. When two events are juxtaposed, it is through a complex algorithm that only a trained sexcretary understands that determines whether a "spontaneous act of sexual intercourse" will be allowed or denied -- historically, the sexcretary will always deny the first and second attempt in favour of any other event in direct opposition of sex.

Today I wanted to have sex with my partner but their sexcretary said there were no openings until later tonight and, instead, scheduled me for a window between 8pm and 3am.

Sexcretary by liefde suig April 14, 2013

sexcretary 

A friend who interviews other people for you as potential sexual partners. Usually in a socially drinking atmosphere with both of you present. Your sexcretary may ask questions either directly or indirectly in either a serious or humorous vein concerning the potential lucky person's dating status, size proportions of sexually exciting anatomy, favorite activities in bed, top/bottom preference, or any other combination designed to make both of you laugh and filter out some potential booty calls.

Go be my sexcretary and ask that chick if she's single.

sexcretary by jannypie November 21, 2010

Former UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon 

The owl shown in the Tom Scott video called "How Weird Is My Audience? I Polled 15,408 People To Find Out

Person 1: Is that Clovenhorn, Destroyer of Mars?
Person 2: No! It's Former UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon! (*tom dying of laughter in the corner*)

Former UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon by .mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq098 December 28, 2020

Blue Secretary 

when you are messing aroung with a chick and you go home right before you finish and she calls you and talks dirty so you can get off

He got a speeding ticket trying to get home to finish his blue secretary.

Blue Secretary by cambronshinn February 7, 2010

secretary 

an assistant to an executive.

get out of the dark ages theyre not called secretary anymore, theyre called ed 'assistants' now. and Lollypop or lollipop are the longest words you can type with your right hand. chew on that :)

secretary by daywalkz March 31, 2009

sexetary

a woman who is employed as a secretary solely for the purpose of her employer banging her whenever and wherever he feels like it. May be construed as a chauvinistic interpretation of this once noble job (secretary; sorry ladies) in the days when e-mail and bosses who could type similarly did not exist. Modern examples of a sexetary may as well be any of the hot office women/slaves as portrayed on AMC's popular series "Mad Men."

Hey man, last night I just had to bang my sexetary silly against the file cabinet, and then on my desk.

And if you get hired here, we promise lots of options from which to select a suitable sexetary.

That girl may be dressed up like a desperate housewife for Halloween, but all I can think of is doing her as if she were my sexetary.

sexetary by Barnacle Bill November 1, 2009