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scissor me timbers 

A phrase used in a south park episode where Mr. or Ms. Garrison explored being a lesbian. Garrison was in bed with another woman "scissoring" (in which two women inter-lock each others legs for sexual arrousal). it is at this time that Garrison becomes excited and says "Oh yeah scissor me timbers!!!".
Lesbian: "I haven't gotten a piece of ass in a while I really wish somebody would scissor me timbers."
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Scissor me timbers 

A variation of "shiver me timbers," a common pirating term, screamed by women during lesbian lovemaking. The term refers to their interlocking legs, which are often spread at an angle similar to open scissors.
"How does this double headed dildo feel, lesbian lover?"

"Scissor me timbers!"

scissor me timbers 

referring to the sexual postion for lesbains"scissoring"
scissor me timbers we're scissoring!

scissor me timber

The act of two females scissoring while a male is underneath with his penis up between their vagina's.
I caught an early flight home and walked in on my wife scissoring some chick, to which I replied "Hmmmm... Perhaps this would be a good time to scissor me timber!"
scissor me timber by Ssylar October 27, 2008

Scissor Me Timber

1. A phrase known as an activity of sexual satisfaction amongst an assemblage of lady pirates.

2. The female attempt to dismember a man's penis from his body by utilizing the unyielding strength of her labial lips.

i.e. Sever Me Timbers
Lady Pirates? Scissor me timbers? Get it?

ARRRGH! As she wrapped her legs about his torso with the force of one-thousand seahorse, her lips opened like the fearsome kraken to disarm the man of his weary vessel. "Scissor me timber," he shouted in vain, "if I weren't still coming I would feel wretched pain!"
Jenny got in more trouble after being arrested because she had priors.
priors by Jermaine Young. October 14, 2008
Word of the Day on June 16, 2026
An acronym for an "aznbbygirl" meaning an asian female gangster. ABG's like to hang with gangsters and wear thin (slutty) clothing. They like to jump other girls who talk shit and make out with their boyfriends 24/7 (maybe even have sex.) Usually own side kicks who also like to text frequently. ABG'S also normally have a "ride or die" homie, someone who is always down for them, or die trying. ABG's are also known for dying their hair alot. From blonde to black. They have many piercings: multiple on the ears, and stomach/lip. They probably have teased hair, bangs, and have had extensions at one point or another. Could also have painted nails and tatoos. ABG's are super hot, but you would probably get jumped if you tried to hit on them. They also loiter and hang out past curfew.
"Oh shit look at those hotties at that boba house.."
"Watch out, see those gangsters next to them? Their obviously ABG's."
"Damn..still hot."
ABG by Lolzercoptorzallday February 7, 2009
Word of the Day on June 14, 2026