Skip to main content

safety wipe 

A safety wipe is the one you give yourself after a fart that may have been wet and resulted in you accidentally pooping yourself a little.
Joe: I farted earlier and I had to do a safety wipe.

Kevin: ( wet sounding fart)
Sam: Damn, you need to go do a safety wipe

Safety Wipe 

The act of wiping ones arse independent of having defecated. Wiping is done for safety upon suspicion of having anal leakage; usually due to sharting (see shart), excessive sweating, gophering (which has since retracted), or any combination thereof.
"I just sharted and need to take a safety wipe right away."
Safety Wipe by DL & CP for UD July 22, 2014

safety wipe 

when you wipe your ass even though you haven't taken a shit recently--just to make sure it's all clean and good down there. A safety wipe is also the cleanest, most effective way to scratch your anus.
When Amy invited Bob back to her place, he did a safety wipe in her bathroom, in case she ended up going down on him.
safety wipe by ducksRpeople2 September 13, 2011

post-flush-safety-wipe

The act of wiping one or more times after flushing, so to assure of no leftover residue.
"Mister Nate used a post-flush-safety-wipe after using the work toilet."
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)
fogey by Petyush September 14, 2005
Word of the Day on May 31, 2026
Add a tablespoon of jarlic to two teaspoons of butter and spread it in bread to make garlic bread
Jarlic by YSAC fanboy June 6, 2020
Word of the Day on May 30, 2026