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safety wipe 

A safety wipe is the one you give yourself after a fart that may have been wet and resulted in you accidentally pooping yourself a little.
Joe: I farted earlier and I had to do a safety wipe.

Kevin: ( wet sounding fart)
Sam: Damn, you need to go do a safety wipe

Safety Wipe 

The act of wiping ones arse independent of having defecated. Wiping is done for safety upon suspicion of having anal leakage; usually due to sharting (see shart), excessive sweating, gophering (which has since retracted), or any combination thereof.
"I just sharted and need to take a safety wipe right away."
Safety Wipe by DL & CP for UD July 22, 2014

safety wipe 

when you wipe your ass even though you haven't taken a shit recently--just to make sure it's all clean and good down there. A safety wipe is also the cleanest, most effective way to scratch your anus.
When Amy invited Bob back to her place, he did a safety wipe in her bathroom, in case she ended up going down on him.
safety wipe by ducksRpeople2 September 13, 2011

post-flush-safety-wipe

The act of wiping one or more times after flushing, so to assure of no leftover residue.
"Mister Nate used a post-flush-safety-wipe after using the work toilet."

breatharian 

One whos diet consists of air, light, and prana, with a possible sip of water now and then.
The breatharian has air, light, and prana for food.
breatharian by leena gabor November 8, 2005
Word of the Day on June 3, 2026

A Booger In The Nose Of Progress 

Anything that impedes or otherwise interferes with a process going forward.
"Militarily, that inquest was a booger in the nose of progress."

or

"As far as human rights are concerned, this political infighting is a booger in the nose of progress."
Word of the Day on June 2, 2026