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pornometer 

Measuring device in the study of pornology. Pornometers are primarily used by pornologists to determine how many P (1 Porn = .666667 inches) are in any given pornograph. The pornometer is a long device that is firmly attached to the scrote. Special care should be taken to calibrate it.
"Whoa I just received a pornogram from PetCo."
'Let me whip out my pornometer and appraise that for you'
"No, put that away; there are children here."
pornometer by Costco October 26, 2007
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The official ANSI intrument for measuring penis length and girth
penometer by Cornwallis September 17, 2003

poopometer 

A device used to measure the potency of poop.
1) My poop rang up an impressive 9.7 poopsies on the poopometer today!

2) The highest recorded reading on the poopometer came from a pooposaurous rex.
poopometer by Michael Wegman February 5, 2008

Hornometer 

A piece of jewelry that is capable of measuring the arousal level -- on a scale of 1 to 20, with 1 being completely asexual and 20 being insatiable -- of its wearer. A related component is also capable of adjusting the arousal level for desired effect. As outlined in the ebook, The Hornometer, by Joe Mudak
Jason wasn't sure if he should make a move on his girlfriend, so he quickly checked the readout on her hornometer. When he saw that it only registered an 8, he quickly raised her arousal level to 15.
Hornometer by Joe Mudak October 5, 2013

Pornoetry 

Pornographic poetry. It is often used by people that want to look semi-intelligent. They use it to profess their undying love in a poetic sense. The worse kind uses forced rhymes and dumb synonyms.
An good example of bad pornoetry:
"The oyster of lust
opens to the world
As thousands thrust
their spears unfurled
Firmly into her socket"
Pornoetry by Universal Bob July 20, 2008

Pornobater 

Someone who masturbates excessively--a minimum of 3 times per day--to porn.
Jim can't keep his eyes off of Pornhub or his hand off of his dick. What a pornobater!
Pornobater by Richardjeeves March 28, 2019

Pornomaster

The master of porn, also known as the pornski. One who derives great pleasure from acts that could be associated with pornography.
Man, that guy is such a pornomaster. Hey, check out the pornomaster.
Pornomaster by boomgotthem January 19, 2009