pessimissy 

A sassy mouthed woman with a shitty attitude about everything.

April is such a pessimissy! She just told me she lost her faith in humanity for the umpteenth time, I swear if it wasn't for that smart-ass mouth of hers everything would be fine.

Ygritte: "You know nothing John Snow"
Jon: "I just gave you the lord's kiss, quit being such a pessimissy!"

pessimissy by cubsfanbigmike May 10, 2013

Cautiously Pessimistic 

An increasingly relevant wordplay on the cliché "cautiously optimistic". As the world continues in free fall, its much more realistic to expect negative outcomes. Therefore, its much more pragmatic to maintain a cautiously pessimistic demeanor, rather than a cautiously optimistic one.

My cat is always cautiously pessimistic when inspecting anything new that I bring into the house.

Cautiously Pessimistic by ChimneySweepGreg August 10, 2012

Apathetic Pessimism 

(1.)The point of not caring about anyone or anything, and if tries to convince you otherwise, you fully disagree using examples. You only say the negative side, as you see the world as: over populated by idiots, and stupidity running rampant.

(2.)The point reached right before the office worker comes in with Molotov cocktails and an AK-47.

(3.)Caused by everything in someone's life fucking them over since birth.

1.)You have a really nice life, glad your creationist parents raised you to par. I honestly don't care though, you can take your faith and intimately shove it.
Because, even if I was to win the lottery, I would just spend it on leveling an entire city.
Humanity is F'd.
(listener):Well aren't you just bursting with apathetic pessimism!

2.)... you have an idea.

3.)Example - Family murder, Siblings killing each other, Family members dying, Failing at every thing you have ever attempted.

Apathetic Pessimism by kamel_reds February 14, 2009

pessimistic pete

Easily the most negative person in a group of people that are otherwise having a great time. But instead of keeping it to himself, it becomes his mission the fuck the fun up for anybody that looks too happy.

BRO 1: Hey I got these four girls to come back to chill with us at the house!

BRO 2: these girls don't like you bro, they're just gonna smoke your shit up, drink the liquor and leave. I bet at least two of them have the herp, either way this shit is weak don't bring them over I got shit to do at noon tomorrow.

BRO 1: never fails always such a fucking pessimistic pete..

pessimistic pete by Cpt.AMERICA August 27, 2010

pessimist 

1.) A person who is known for their negative outlook upon life.

Related: cynic

Katie: You are such a pessimist!

Dante: You are going to die, too.

pessimist by Manawski February 23, 2003

pessimist 

Someone who is rarely disappointed, but sadly, very rarely pleasantly surprised.

A pessimist is a misunderstood realist, who would like to visit the planet optimists live on, but wouldn't like to live there.

pessimist by caster1 January 17, 2008

Optimistic Pessimism

Hope for the best; prepare for the worst.

Optimistic pessimism is a great way to live your life, because you can't lose.

People who argue that optimistic pessimism - or any kind of pessimism for that matter - is a self fulfilling argument are just naive irrational pseudo-philosophical hippies.

Optimistic Pessimism by I hate optimists April 25, 2010