legalese 

A way of talking or writing used mostly by lawyers and corporations, as a way to explain and elaborate every square inch of the matter at hand - creating an airtight verbal bubble that leaves no room for ambiguity.

This is done by writing as little as possible with as many words as possible, in such a way that Average Joe won't have a single clue what is presented to him, yet agrees to it because he couldn't care less about reading page up and page down with all that legal nonsense before he gets to use his new computer program.

Average Joe: "Your program destroyed by PC! I'm suing!"
Big corporation: "You can't. You consented to waive all your customer-, civil- and moral rights upon agreeing to our Terms of Use license before using the product."
Average Joe: "How was I supposed to know that?! It was 72 pages written in legalese!"

legalese by 71aces February 2, 2009

Legalese 

The dialect that the "legal" profession uses to hoodwink people into paying them a week's wage for an hour's work. See conflict of interest.

Attorneys use Legalese to be able to tell lies about regular people without the regular people being able to understand what's said about them.

Legalese by Downstrike September 13, 2004

Sneaky White Legalese 

Advanced diction utilized by white persons when engaged in a business transaction with minorities so as to gain a material advantage in the deal or transaction.

"In the event of a breach of contract dispute, both parties agree that Arbitration meetings will be held in Simi Valley!

Translation of said Sneaky White Legalese: We found the Rodney King Police Officers innocent of criminal charges, how confident do you minorities feel about winning this contract dispute?

Sneaky White Legalese by Matt September 25, 2007

LegaliseTorturingDylan's 

This is the action of making it common or allowed to torture people called Dylan. #LegaliseTorturingDylan's

#LegaliseTorturingDylan's for a better world

LegaliseTorturingDylan's by LegaliseTorturingDylan's April 28, 2022

LegaliseTorturingDylan's 

A popular protesting symbol is used by people named Aaron that wish to torture Dylan.

The hashtag (#LegaliseTorturingDylan) grew in popularity ever since its coining in 1623 when King Aaron the IV of Vienna was overthrown by Prince Dylan the III of Luxembourg.

In response, Aaron would quote

"ic pro hêrespel healdan mîn wiðersæc fornêah Dylan sê III râd Luxembourg geond hê hê indicates laughter has forsaken sê civilised â. ic pro tôdêman witnian him of hê, weder sê is lahlic oððon nâteðæshwôn adverbial phrases attraction with pron ðe ic su sêlost legalise torturing Dylan"

which when translated into Modern day English is

"I will have my revenge on Dylan the III of Luxembourg as he has forsaken the civilised world. I will torture him, whether it's legal or not so we better legalise torturing Dylan"

In 2013 the Naming Act would be sent to Congress which would suggest a ban on the names Dylan, Karen, Lillian & many more. Ultimately Congress would reject this with only 20 of the 435 members agreeing with the Act. In Iceland, the name would be banned along with Eileithyia. People already named Dylan would be allowed to keep their name but no new babies were permitted to be named Dylan.

Today the #LegaliseTorturingDylan movement has low support but the people who do support it are dedicated to their cause. LegaliseTorturingDylan's

"Yo, what's your name?"
"It's Aaron"
"Are you a part of the LegaliseTorturingDylan movement?"
"Hell yeah"
"Same bro, we should LegaliseTorturingDylan's"
"I agree entirely with you"

LegaliseTorturingDylan's by RahandG October 26, 2022