lapiz
noun - Emotion or reaction to something lacking in humor. Generally acceptable use would be following a story or supposedly humorous comment after which the listener would fashion a straight, non-smiling face usually, but not exclusively, utilizing the forearm to create the straight face. Instances lacking in any humor whatsoever may be exaggerated with an extended lapiz during which the listener may use any straight object in proximity to form the lips. Should the unhumorous comment be in print, reader may respond with emoticon :|, often crushing the spirit of the offending party.
A lapiz may be vetoed on occasion, but a quick and simple rebuttal must be provided. Nerves have been shattered when gratuitous lapices are manifested. There are only a handful of individuals who truly understand how to properly give and take a lapiz.
The most notorious lapiz ever fashioned ocurred in Rosemont, Pennsylvania August 2003 following a late-night binge at a local public house. At approximately 2am, in a not uncommon reaction to one of Jay's anecdotes, Geoff proceeded to form the longest lapiz on record by placing his face on or near one rail of a Septa commuter train line. Trust me, you had to be there. Don't even try to bust out a lapiz on me right now, you totally had to be there.
Origin - 10% Spain, 20% California, 20% Pennsylvania, 50% Colorado. Originally called "pencil-lips" it quickly evolved into the Cuba-inspired "lapiz-lips" eventually truncated to "lapiz."
Plural - lapices. To be honest, this posting was the first time in history lapiz had to be described in plural form, so it is doubtful that anyone will ever need this information.
:|
A lapiz may be vetoed on occasion, but a quick and simple rebuttal must be provided. Nerves have been shattered when gratuitous lapices are manifested. There are only a handful of individuals who truly understand how to properly give and take a lapiz.
The most notorious lapiz ever fashioned ocurred in Rosemont, Pennsylvania August 2003 following a late-night binge at a local public house. At approximately 2am, in a not uncommon reaction to one of Jay's anecdotes, Geoff proceeded to form the longest lapiz on record by placing his face on or near one rail of a Septa commuter train line. Trust me, you had to be there. Don't even try to bust out a lapiz on me right now, you totally had to be there.
Origin - 10% Spain, 20% California, 20% Pennsylvania, 50% Colorado. Originally called "pencil-lips" it quickly evolved into the Cuba-inspired "lapiz-lips" eventually truncated to "lapiz."
Plural - lapices. To be honest, this posting was the first time in history lapiz had to be described in plural form, so it is doubtful that anyone will ever need this information.
:|
Proper times to use lapiz:
Most female comedians..... :|
Opie and Anthony..... :|
Jay Leno..... :|
Recent Adam Sandler and/or Jim Carrey movies..... :|
SNL 1997-2005..... :|
Episodes of "The Simpsons" where Lisa is the main character and she gets all up on her soapbox and starts bitching about slurry or the price of saxamaphone reeds..... :|
All other emoticons..... :|
Most female comedians..... :|
Opie and Anthony..... :|
Jay Leno..... :|
Recent Adam Sandler and/or Jim Carrey movies..... :|
SNL 1997-2005..... :|
Episodes of "The Simpsons" where Lisa is the main character and she gets all up on her soapbox and starts bitching about slurry or the price of saxamaphone reeds..... :|
All other emoticons..... :|
lapiz by Senor Lapiz November 5, 2007
