lamphrey 

the girl in a pair who is a little less attractive than the other; every house party has one knock-out-of-your-league supermonster hottie that grew up in Barcelona but is here directing videos even though she’s only 21. If you go for her you will bomb. Go for the lamprey next to her and at the very least people will respect you for not being shallow. The lamphrey can be found next to her, and she is less hot.

person one: "Man, did you see Natalia? That girl is fiiiine."
person two: "Yeah, but you ought to go for her friend Jenny. She is the obvious lamphrey."
person one: "You know something, Dick? You are totally right. I am going to hit on the lamprey right now!"

lamphrey by amandaluna May 26, 2006

lamprey 

An uncircumcised penis. So named because of the resemblance between the puckered-up foreskin at the end of the flaccid penis and the sucker mouth of a lamprey.

Antonio's uncut - he's got big old lamprey in his pants.

lamprey by bws55 September 3, 2007

Joke lamprey 

A person who tries to claim a funny thought, or joke as their own when they either had nothing or very little to do with it.

Guy 1: Did I tell you about the new sex position I came up with, I call it the Lazy Astronaut.
Guy 2:Dude you did not invent that I already read about it on the Urban Dictionary.
Guy 1:ummm yea I was the one who posted it
Guy 2: B.S. man! I know the dude that invented it! You are such a Joke Lamprey...

Joke lamprey by Salmonhq February 13, 2008

Chucking Lampreys 

The act of regurgitating or ejecting one's stomach contents.

Eddie can't hold his alcohol. Give him three drinks and he'll be in the bathroom chucking lampreys all night!

Chucking Lampreys by Limon Lives August 27, 2007

butt lamprey

One who survives not by his own virtue or hard work, but by consuming the excrement of others by continually hanging on to those others' rectum. See 'butt leech'.

"Motorola management is nothing more than a collection of in-bred butt lampreys."

butt lamprey by arf_burnt January 27, 2010

Dollar Lamprey 

Named for the aquatic animal that feeds on the blood and sometimes internal organs of fish, the dollar lamprey is a person who is romantically attracted to others based on their monetary wealth. Typically, these people will attempt to suck out the soul of their victims directly through the wallet.

Dude, you she's only with that wet doughnut because he drives a BMW. Psst, dollar lamprey.

Dollar Lamprey by oxygen theif April 25, 2010

dirty lamprey 

when people with multiple rows of teeth give a blow job (teeth are always in contact with member)

That horse mouth decided to give me a dirty lamprey

dirty lamprey by joe Lamprey May 25, 2010