An extremely talented 25-year-old man, hailing from London, England. He's a master of harmonization, chords, and microtones. He understands music theory like it's his first language. Collier owns multiple instruments and learned them all on his own- an audidact, if you will. He also has perfect pitch and really is a fun guy, along with possessing a tremendous amount of talent that most, if not all musicians wish they could have. Some people envy him and try to belittle his music, saying he's "just a white boy who uses autotune." Others look up to him as an inspiration. He's also quite a handsome fella, if I do say so myself..
Person 1: Hey, have you ever listened to Jacob Collier? He's a real fuckin' genius. 21st-century Mozart!
Person 2: Oh, that show-off white kid with the spiky Asian-boy hair? He's nothing special, honestly. Shit artist.
Person 1: What? No, you probably don't understand what he really does. You don't have to be a huge fan of his music, but the work he puts into it is truly amazing. Not to mention he plays hundreds of instrume-
Person 2: Would you shut up? I know he's a talented fuck, that's why I hate him. All he does is flex. Cocky jerk.
Person 1: ooook
Person 2: Oh, that show-off white kid with the spiky Asian-boy hair? He's nothing special, honestly. Shit artist.
Person 1: What? No, you probably don't understand what he really does. You don't have to be a huge fan of his music, but the work he puts into it is truly amazing. Not to mention he plays hundreds of instrume-
Person 2: Would you shut up? I know he's a talented fuck, that's why I hate him. All he does is flex. Cocky jerk.
Person 1: ooook
by confused nick face June 18, 2020
One of the, if not the best musicians in the world. With microtonal harmonies and fascinating rhythms, he produces "musician's music"
Jesse: Have you heard jacob collier's new song?
Daniel: Yes, it was amazing. It really filled the love in my heart, it was all I needed for the day. I listened to it in my room all night long, and it made me cry. I could feel it in my bones. Thanks for asking, djesse.
Jesse: You misspelled my name.
Daniel: But we're talking.
Jesse: We aren't real. We are but text being written or having been wrote by a simple fan of jacob collier, the king of music, like Julia Ceasar, Daniel.
Daniel: It's Julius.
Jesse: But I've known you for so long, how could I have not known this whole time, your name was julius.
Daniel: Not my na- this is too long of an example, our creator should probably shut up and go to bed.
Jesse: Not before listening to Snarky Puppy: We Like It Here
Daniel: Yes, it was amazing. It really filled the love in my heart, it was all I needed for the day. I listened to it in my room all night long, and it made me cry. I could feel it in my bones. Thanks for asking, djesse.
Jesse: You misspelled my name.
Daniel: But we're talking.
Jesse: We aren't real. We are but text being written or having been wrote by a simple fan of jacob collier, the king of music, like Julia Ceasar, Daniel.
Daniel: It's Julius.
Jesse: But I've known you for so long, how could I have not known this whole time, your name was julius.
Daniel: Not my na- this is too long of an example, our creator should probably shut up and go to bed.
Jesse: Not before listening to Snarky Puppy: We Like It Here
by Stylus Sticc June 7, 2020
a very talented musician that i am a very big simp for because i really like him a lot and i think he is very pleasing to the eye and i really like his voice and his personality and his very big vocabulary and his cheekbones and his hair and his fashion sense even though he always looks like a box of crayola crayons!! its ok though because everything he does is attractive
jacob: laughs
simp: oh god oh fuck that was the cutest thing ive ever seen in my life im. im going to harmonize his laugh and then put it on my instagram story and tag him in it then maybe he'll see it and repost it to his story. yes. its all coming together now its all jacob collier
jacob: sees and doesnt repost
simp: oh my god he saw it but didnt repost. i will never know what he thinks. god why am i like this do better
simp: oh god oh fuck that was the cutest thing ive ever seen in my life im. im going to harmonize his laugh and then put it on my instagram story and tag him in it then maybe he'll see it and repost it to his story. yes. its all coming together now its all jacob collier
jacob: sees and doesnt repost
simp: oh my god he saw it but didnt repost. i will never know what he thinks. god why am i like this do better
by confused nick face September 25, 2020
an english man in london who exhales serotonin and inhales music and sarcasm and randomness and stevie wonder
once you discover jacob you go down one of two paths. you either go down the path of trying to analyze his mUsicAl tEchnIcaLiTy like he's a fucking science experiment or you look past the technical shit and just love him for his young spirit and big fat gorgeous amazing loving heart, personality, and soul. and music. his music is very good very flexible he is just so cool
there is also an alternate path where you fall into a spiral of simpism. meaning you become obsessed with his personality and you realize how pretty he is and laugh at everything he says and does because he's jacob and he's kind of hot
once you discover jacob you go down one of two paths. you either go down the path of trying to analyze his mUsicAl tEchnIcaLiTy like he's a fucking science experiment or you look past the technical shit and just love him for his young spirit and big fat gorgeous amazing loving heart, personality, and soul. and music. his music is very good very flexible he is just so cool
there is also an alternate path where you fall into a spiral of simpism. meaning you become obsessed with his personality and you realize how pretty he is and laugh at everything he says and does because he's jacob and he's kind of hot
jacob collier: "how long?" well. this is an interesting question. my answer to you is rather simple. though out of context it may seem a bit complex in meaning, you may, or may not, be able to understand from my perspective. so. "how long," you may ask? my answer to you is "yes." ...that's the answer to that! next question. this is good fun.
me: *blinks slowly* *smiles* its not even funny bruh*bursts out laughing*
me: *blinks slowly* *smiles* its not even funny bruh*bursts out laughing*
by confused nick face November 24, 2020
the most remarkable man on earth. he is caring, attentive, talented, and so supportive. he will make you feel like the only person on earth anytime you talk to him. he is too nice to his haters. i am always ready to fight people on his behalf. he is so humble. he writes the sweetest love songs on earth and makes whoever he loves feel so special. his music theory skills never fail to blow me away. his brain is like mine, but different. he makes me feel seen. he will make you feel so cared for, i cannot explain. he may not always be available, but when you do get to spend time together, he’ll make you forget about any time apart. he is my end game.
i am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with jacob collier, he gives me the love i’ve always deserved to have reciprocated.
by thesunisinmyeyes November 24, 2021
by flattio July 11, 2023