hummer hippie

Those flakey suburban kids who pretend to be hippies and demonstrate their love of nature by driving obnoxious SUVs all over it. Easily identified in oversized gas-guzzlers plastered with Dave Matthews and Patagonia stickers, hummer hippies are drawn toward large outdoor music festivals where they injest large quantities of illicit substances and leave behind huge deposits of litter and debris. Longitudinal studies have demonstrated that these hypocritical enemies of nature are actually the larvae of careless corporate stooges, and upon reaching maturity and dropping their stupid nicknames they will assume their predestined roles (lucrative careers) with the same abject lack of concern for the welfare of the planet as demonstrated by their republican-voting parents.

"Hey, check out that tank full of hummer hippies! Wonder if that belongs to daddy or if the owner tapped into his trust fund."

"Wow, think of all the hungry people that hummer hippie could have fed if he had chosen a more sensible form of transport."

hummer hippie by guerrillajoey November 6, 2010