fortune crookie 

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

fortune crookie by authOOr June 29, 2006

Fortune cookie 

Furry slang that refers to a female dog's vagina due to it's similar shape to a Chinese dessert cookie. The female equivalent of a “red rocket” being used to describe a dog's penis.

Ron: Do you remember that red female dog from the movie Balto?

Bob: Yeah, I wonder how big is her fortune cookie.
Rob: Get help.

Fortune cookie by FlyingFrog762 March 5, 2022

Fortune Cookie Religion 

Fortune Cookie Religion describes religious beliefs that are not based on reading religious texts in their entirety but by reading one disjointed verse at a time, as though getting small doses of wisdom akin to a fortune cookie.

The reader then forces that one short verse to apply to their lives and those around them without reading the chapters before or after. This style of religion creates a tendancy for the words to be misinterpretted or taken out of context. Also the reader usually does very little to understand the culture at the time, or other inferences surrounding the time and place that the scripture was written.

In essence it is a shallow religious base comprised of little effort or research on the part of the person. Someone who is Fortune Cookie Religious likes little sayings, quotes, and things with bits of scripture on them, to outwardly show to others that they are religious, but rarely do they read their religious texts themselves. They wait for someone else to tell them what to believe.

Jane's Fortune Cookie Religion involves her reading her Zen Calendar every day.

Tom's made a Fortune Cookie Religion out of reading his horoscope.

Sally's turned reading the Bible into a Fortune Cookie Religion with the way she opens it and points to a random verse, hoping that it will show her the way.

Fortune Cookie Religion by Lindsay Archer July 14, 2007

Nigger fortune cookie 

A piece of corn bred with a food stamp baked in the middle of it.

Otis, look at Leroy. He done got himself a nigger fortune cookie on his way back from the liquor store!

Nigger fortune cookie by Samurai Sam September 14, 2006

fortune cookie-ing 

verb. to help someone in a time of need and support them. to give someone cliche advice that would sound like advice received from a fortune cookie. this advice may seem silly but take it seriously, it WILL help

Jose: I don't know what to do

Kat: the heart wants what the heart wants, let it guide you

Jose: hah, nice fortune cookie-ing

fortune cookie-ing by RejectedWeIrDo April 22, 2011

fortune cookie wisdom

When somebody claims to be smart, but half of the shit they say is obvious and can be found in a fortune cookie.

Asshole - Work hard and you will be okay.
Normal Guy - No shit, thanks for the fortune cookie wisdom, asshat.

fortune cookie wisdom by ILikeDefiningThings August 26, 2018

fortune cookie 

THe dessert served with Chinese Food.

I believe in the advice of the fortune cookie.

fortune cookie by AYB February 19, 2003