flatscan 

One who does not understand computers, or one who harbors a deep-rooted dislike for computers or the Internet.
From the X-Men term "flatscan", a derogatory term for non-mutants. As the mutants considered themselves the next step in human evolution, "flatscans" were those who would be left behind as the world progressed. A similar fate awaits those who dislike or cannot comprehend computers, and the cyber community adapted the term to mean non-cyber rather than non-mutant.

Flatscans generally need to call tech support for such complicated steps as opening Microsoft Word, and never remember to check their email.

flatscan by Clay January 11, 2005

flatscan 

A cisgender person, especially one who is transphobic or otherwise holds outdated views of gender and language. Often used as a synonym for "normie."

My flatscan coworker thinks it's appropriate to ask me extremely invasive questions about my medical history and sexuality just because I'm trans.

flatscan by bluehairedpronounuser July 20, 2022

flatscalator 

The moving walkways, often in airports, that move much like an escalator, except they are flat.

Jane: "It's like...a mile to the terminal for our flight."
Jill: "Hey, there's a flatscalator! Jump on it so we don't have to walk."

flatscalator by pseuzieq August 3, 2010

Flatucants 

The sensation experienced when unable to pass wind due to social or environmental restrictions.

John needed to let one rip but the pretty girl nearby caused Flatucants.

Flatucants by paul007 January 26, 2015