fartograde 

Mostly happening to just women, it's when a fart travels forward between the labias, and out past the clitoris, instead of out the ass crack. Basically, a retrograde fart.

Michelle is sitting on the couch, eating ice cream, watching romance movies, and enjoying the feeling of fartogrades tickling her junk as they pass through.

Susan's fartogrades stopped being funny when they pissed off the cat in her lap.

fartograde by Polyester.Specter December 10, 2016

fartography 

the study of the interrelations between fart and place.

by analogy: as "terroir" is to wine, so is fartography to flatulence.

the most skilled fartographers are able to identify with uncommon specificity not only the ethnic background of the individual who authored a particular fart, but also the kind of food that person ate, whether or not his or her ancestors grew up near a farm or at high altitude, and whether he or she is lactose intolerant.

fartography is a fascinating discipline whose implications are only now becoming clear.

among pioneering practitioners, Johnald G. Stinkefeller is notable for his contributions to the field.

civilian: jesus! what the hell is that smell?

fartographer: indeed, indeed. that most certainly is an emission from a person of subcontinental origin.

civilian: goodness gracious! well, i daresay...

fartographer: moreover, said person seems to have a particularly hearty meal of boeuf bourguignonne. the sulfuric notes suggest a person with a severe allergy to gluten, as well as a miniaturized anal aperture which undoubtedly contributes to the floral top note. i would suggest that the person in question is...

civilian: damn you, stinkefeller!

fartographer: you. you farted. and that's how fartography works, son.

fartography by trilliam turdsworth December 23, 2018

fartorade 

When you find some Gatorade lying around and decide to drink it on impulse and the first whiff you get of it smells like someone is bent over in the bottle farting up your nostrils.

"Oh shit son! A free Gatorade!....oh what the fuck is this flavor!? It's a full bottle of fartorade!"

fartorade by Btcsk8r March 2, 2014

Fartograhpy 

The study or art of smelling farts to rate them. see Fartographer

I dont get into Fartography.

Fartograhpy by jamesbrown April 22, 2003

fartography 

fartography is what worthless art school kids end up with diplomas in

joe -isn't that lynda? she's one of those worthless art school kids that never works, isn't she?-

jen - oh no, she's majoring in fartography

fartography by Comrade Plasternasty May 2, 2009

fartographer 

A person specialized in the study of what people eat and how they live based on the images and patterns left on the subject's underwear.

After having studied the subject's underwear, the fartographer quickly deduced that the subject had eaten spicey food the night before and had good posture.

fartographer by scott liebman November 7, 2007

Fartograhper 

One who smells farts and rates them. I met one such chap on a european holiday, Neil From NZ. Strange guy, anyone who farted he felt like he had to tell you how bad/good it was, i scored a 10/10! see Fartograhpy

Neil, weirdo but nice guy rated farts.

Fartograhper by jamesbrown April 22, 2003