crunchitize

A word used in Cap'n Crunch commercials that attest to the cereal's ability to stay crunchy in milk. The noble cap'n always manages to solve daily predicaments faced by children with the power of his crunchitization, taking the children to a world full of glorious artificial flavoring. It has nothing to do with anal sex.

Two children at a restaurant avoided a disgusting meal of es cargo (SNAILS!) when Cap'n Crunch flew his ship through the wall of the restaurant, much to the astonishment of the French waiter, and the boy and girl are elated when the cap'n crunchitizes them so they can enjoy a $1.99 box of cereal instead of a sophisticated meal at a restaurant that their parents worked hard to earn.

by NotDave January 28, 2008

crunchitize

To ask for anal sex from Captain Crunch.

"Crunchitize us Cap'n!"

by Eddie June 14, 2003

crunchtime

the point at which you realize that an exam worth 50% of your grade is scheduled for tomorrow at 8:30 am and you'd better get your ass in gear and study all fucking night.

It's crunchtime man, I can't go out tonight.

by Karla A November 9, 2007

Crunchatize me cap'n!

when a girl says this aboard a ship, you, as the captain of the ship must gather every seamen aboard and have them stand around her in a circle and simultaneously nut on her causing her skin to eventually be crunchy from all the cum

hot girl: "crunchatize me cap'n!"
captain: "iv'e been waiting my whole life for this moment"

by happycaptain September 18, 2020

Crunchatize

When a food item is prepared way too crunchy, toasted, or in any way too jagged for your mouth to handle. The result of eating anything crunchatized is akin to chewing bubble gum, if that bubble gum was made of razor blades and despair. The flurry of micro-lacerations are just bearable enough to foolishly finish the meal, but not enough to avoid regret and anguish for the rest of the day. Your mouth WILL sting, ache, and spite you for the rest of the day.

Avoid crunchatized edibles at all costs.

Cap'n: "Would you like your sandwich toasted?"
Me: "Just a little bit, don't crunchatize that shit! Not again... Never again..."

by D-Hern February 20, 2012

Clutchitize me captain

A phrase used after you clutched and did something great last minute.

"Both teams need one more point to win!!"
"Got'em we won...Clutchitize me captain!!"

by jmanpsu November 13, 2009

Crunchatize Me Captain

The phrase for requesting that an uncircumcised man peels back his hood and slaps you in the face with his smagma covered wiener.

"Derek, crunchatize me captain!"

"Last night I got crunchatized by the captain!"

by Evana, J-dawg, Casper, Grimmer September 30, 2011