condonlences 

The art of double-speak where an organization or individual expresses sorrow at the misfortune of a person or group which they have actively opposed, while simultaneously implying their own moral or political judgment on the party/ies

Radical anti-abortion groups issued condonlences over the murder of Dr. George Tiller.

condonlences by jerryjack June 2, 2009

Condolence High Five 

Condolence high fives are no different from ordinary high fives, except that they are offered in condolence rather than in celebration.

Ted had the most horrible date; because Barney could relate to his sadness, he offered Ted a Condolence High Five.

Condolence High Five by Solo Amadeus April 11, 2022

Consolences 

Sympathy for a person who has a different video game console than your own.

Friend 1: "Oh, you have the Xbox One? My consolences."
Friend 2: "Shut up dude."
Friend 1: "I'm just saying I feel bad for you."

Consolences by AerPilot November 5, 2013

condolence 

Pity for someone else's sorrow or loss; Sympathy.

After the sudden death of Princess Diana, thousands of messages of condolenc were sent to her family.

condolence by Larstait November 10, 2003

Condolence-Five

The Condolence Five is given to whom something bad has happened.

Ian's friend get dumped so Ian gave his friend a "Condolence-Five"

Condolence-Five by Quinnstefani December 3, 2014

condolences window 

The time period within which it is still reasonable to expect condolences for the death of a relative.

Dave: My uncle Pete died 5 years ago today.
Andy: Yeah, do you want to go to the pub tonight?
Dave: What the fuck, I just told you that my uncle Pete died.
Andy: Yeah, and?
Dave: Well, aren't you going to say "I'm sorry"?
Andy: Fuck that, 5 years is way outside the condolences window!

condolences window by Mentirosa August 6, 2011

Consolences 

Consolences: like condolences but from someone close to you who is trying to console you. Someone who knows you too well to offer condolences when a sad thing happens.

A consolence can also be a non-verbal action. If someone gives a friend a hug as a form of consoling then they offer her consolence, which might elicit the reply "Thanks for the consolences".

E.g. My father offered me consolences when I dropped my slice of pizza in the dirt.

Consolences by Chateau Zo January 27, 2014