christbot

Literally, one who becomes a robot for Jesus Christ.

The christbot is almost always a whitebread protestant from the "to be avoided" parts of the United States - ie. the midwest and deep south. Frighteningly however, at least one specimen is known to have infiltrated the Yankee northeast.

The christbot can be identified by the glazed, unfocused look in his (or her) eyes that changes to "wild" only upon mention of various pre-programmed buzzwords: gays, abortion, activist judges, Bill Clinton, muslims. During discussion of any of the aforementioned topics, christbots will mechanically refer to bible verses to support their case rather than using logic and reasoning. Oddly, every christbot seems to have the same chip in their brains, resulting in every christbot repeating the exact same worn out lines. The christbot (by nature) bludgeons the unsuspecting passerby with his or her spikey mechanical arm of ideology.

The average christbot will also have one or more of the following traits: abnormal/irrational love for animals, a large SUV, sub-middle-school comprehension levels, several young christbot spawn, a past life involving prostitution and/or drugs, an almost fetish-like appreciation for capitalism, an unwavering affection for anyone named Bush (even if he personally assrapes the christbot).

me: Man, I'de really love to see more lesbians kissing on network television.

christbot: HEY! That is immoral. YOU are immoral. See: Proverbs 21:9, Revelations 8:1, 2 Kings 9:20, 1 Corinthians 14:34, 1 Corinthians 11:13-15, Deuteronomy 22:13, Mark 9:43, Ephesians 6:5, Colassians 3:22, Titus 2:9, 1 Peter 2:18, Psalm 137:9, Malachi 2:3, Leviticus 20:9.

me: ...

christbot by kintaro October 27, 2005

Jesus Christburger 

Extreme confusion or happiness beyond normal words

Jesus Christburger you guys, i have glitter on my dick

Jesus Christburger by Smokahontus January 3, 2011

christhole 

1. "Christian" + "asshole". Typically referring to a Christian who believes he/she is genetically, ethnically, morally and spiritually superior to all other races and religions. This person thinks in terms of moral absolutes, to the effect of "us good, them bad," and presumes anyone who looks, thinks, or acts different from him/herself to have been put on earth by Satan himself for the purpose of spreading degeneracy. He/she is unwilling to compromise any of his/her beliefs the slightest bit, but the first to criticize others for being hardheaded. He/she thinks everyone is going to Hell who doesn't hate non-Americans, liberals, gays and lesbians, poor people, planned parenthood, evolution, Jews, Muslims, etc. But he/she also thinks one can buy one's way into Heaven by donating generously to the Republican Party. In the face of overwhelming evidence against his/her beliefs, he/she will immediately run from the conversation, usually with an excuse to the effect that "I don't have to listen to you because God's on my side and I'm better than you."

2. The supposed orifice on such a person's body from which their self-righteous and ignorant bullshit is excreted.

"Pat Robertson is such a christhole."

"Hey man, I smell something. Did you forget to wipe your christhole?"

christhole by Gerbil Warrior May 27, 2006

christnot 

A product or service, which is unassociated with Christmas, that is marketed or advertised during the Christmas period, usually implementing Christmas into their marketing strategy.

Person 1: Did you see Pringles has a new slogan, “Merry Pringles”

Person 2: But that’s dumb. Pringles has nothing to do with Christmas

Person 1: That’s right, Pringles is a ChristNot.

christnot by Shakespeare McDude November 19, 2021

Christetzuken 

Even more elusive than the Great Noodlemantaro, Christetzuken is a mysterious ninja and true ladies man.
So little is known of Christetzuken that no one is even sure if he really exists, although it is whispered amongst travellers that he once beat Noodlemantaro.

It is also whispered that Christetzuken possesses the ability to finish any opponent in one move, but how this is achieved is also a mystery.

Rumour has it you can lure Christetzuken out of hiding by using a beautiful young Asian lady as bait.

Christetzuken by Therindos July 16, 2008

Christlor 

Title of a either/or word game ; originally founded by two lovers (Christian and Taylor).

Let's play the Christlor game!

Christlor by Soccerking88 December 12, 2010

Christhoper 

Christhoper is a handsome man with a brave heart to follow his dreams.

Christhoper became an artist.

Christhoper by Sunoobb June 8, 2021