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A complete jackass who is getting laid as you read this definition. He will generally be accompanied by multiple Victoria Secret models while watching football. He is often seen in a Koenigsegg Agera throwing stacks of cash at pedestrians
Person A: Birtwistle is such a hero! Always getting laid
Person B: I agree, he even got with my mother and sister the other week!

Person A: Did you just see that car go 140 in a school zone? Must have been Birtwistle.
Person B: Obviously, Birtwistle is always breaking the law!
by Big Lad September 15, 2014
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