benjamin ma

- Spends more than 4 hours each day sitting on the toilet, without removing his pants, with no intention of actually going to the toilet, although for some reason still insists on tearing off dozens of pieces of toilet paper and flushing them as part of his ‘cover’
- Eats warm garbage before coming in to school each morning
- Types with two fingers, as hard as possible
- Rolls over on Classmates whenever anything goes wrong and sits in the middle of the bus
- Occasionally gets caught jerking off in the fire stairwell (weirdo)
- Models his haircut on members from the band ‘bald boys united ’
- Obsessive overuse of the words ‘your mom’ and ‘leo’
- Has no friends
- Bares a striking resemblance to ‘The Hamburgular”
- Stores his semen (from his numerous daily stairwell jerk offs) in Dixie cups, with the intention of one day raising an unholy army of ‘little bennys’ to do his bidding
- Has every moment of tenz twitch stream watched
- Occasionally murders fat Asian children and hides them underneath his bed

Devin: That benjamin ma guy is so good at throwing, right?
Navi: What do you mean? He cant even throw the ball 10 yards!
Devin: I meant "throwing" in valorant.
Navi: OHHHH!!! That makes much more sense!

by Ash Hull December 4, 2022