bastometer

a scale used to determine the bastardism exhibited by men.
scales include vomit inducing bastard,boring bastard, bit of a bastard, stupid bastard, bastard, complete bastard, complete and utter bastard, extreme bastard and c**t.
To be used in conjunction with the complometer

after much thought she rated him as bit of a bastard on the bastometer

bastometer by liz and claire October 1, 2007

Bantometer 

Measures the level of banter or 'bants' in the room

Stephen: your momma fat
Steven: at least my momma didn't leave me
Stephen: dude that bant is off the bantometer, too far man too far

Bantometer by Mr BigG April 22, 2015

Best Barometer 

This is a synonym for a penis in porn films. It is derived from the ability of an experienced penis and its experienced user to determine the suitability of a vagina, breast, anus or in fact any other body part for fucking or coital relations.

Typically the barometer functions by being slapped or thrust vigorously through or against the body part under test.

"My penis is the best barometer. The best test of a good tit!"

Best Barometer by Azbo The Great! March 10, 2017

Shit Barometer 

Instrument used to measure the shit pressure in the atmosphere. Used to anticipate a shit storm and potential influx of shit hawks; whom may either spread their shit or swoop down and take humans away to the shit nest.

"Do you know what a shit barometer is bubs?" "It measures the shit pressure in the atmosphere" "Your ears will implode from the shit pressure"

Shit Barometer by Stall101 October 29, 2009

barometer poop 

When dropping barometric pressure creates a pressure differential between the inside of one's intestines and the atmosphere, resulting in the urge to poop.

Man, I just had a barometer poop -- The weather must be getting shitty.

barometer poop by nonfish September 29, 2014

Bombay barometer 

That miraculous sensor situated in the anal tract that enables the operator to determine whether the chamber is loaded with gas or solid matter, before risking a fart. The Bombay barometer may give faulty readings when, for example, swamped by large quantities of beer and curry, with disastrous results.

"Who dropped the dark blockbuster? Smells like someone's Bombay barometer failed!"

Bombay barometer by bromp January 20, 2009

social barometer

Something used to define social norms and gauge appropriate behavior in a social situation.

If you are using John as a social barometer, you are in trouble.

social barometer by Jammenhammer August 3, 2006