assmist 

When you stay out way to late on a weeknight drinking tequila and you have the shits the next day at work. Usually a loud gassy shit that has your co-workers running like hell out of the bathroom...often has a stringy, mucous appearance while floating in the water...(similar to snot)

Damn! That Tarantula gave me some serious assmist!

assmist by DJF June 24, 2004

Kobe Assist

NBA statistic that proves that missing shots is sometimes just as valuable as making them. A Kobe Assist is awarded when a player misses a basket, followed by an offensive rebound, leading directly to a field goal. Generally referred to as a put-back, tip-in, or follow.

Kobe's miss (with 20 seconds on shot clock) ricocheted upward from the rim before descending back down into the hands of Howard, who quickly put the ball in the basket for the Kobe Assist.

Kobe Assist by jameshunger October 30, 2013

Voluntary assisted dying 

It means that a person can ask a doctor to kill themselves. To do that they must be suffering an illness and have decision making capability. 99.9% of the people who are suffering an illness don't have decision making capability.

Voluntary assisted dying is the best way to kill yourself.

Voluntary assisted dying by OfficeMS July 16, 2023

pawsonal assistant 

As we move forward in time, a significant fraction of the human population is rejecting speciesism that humans all over the world are conditioned to. As the non-speciestic movement grows, more people are adopting non-human animals and providing them shelter in their homes. Like children, non-human animals need care on a daily basis and in some cases, need someone to be available at all times. It is inevitable that the adopting human might not be able to give care at all times and will need to hire a pawsonal assistant during these times to care for their non-human animal companions.

As Maria foresees traveling once a month, she is hiring a pawsonal assistant for her best friend, Foxy.

pawsonal assistant by Social-media Wordsmith August 21, 2018

Assistant TO the Regional Manager 

when you work for michael scott and are the leading salesman at dunder mifflin paper companies in scranton and your name is dwight schrute--==that is what your title is



not to be confused with ASSISTANT REGIONAL MANAGER

dwight "Assistant the Regional Manager"
michael "no,it's Assistant TO the Regional Manager"
dwight "its the same thing"
michael "no, its lower"

Assistant TO the Regional Manager by th is ism y rl ealnam August 11, 2008

Assistant Principal 

Always assuming that people do things, despite lack of credible evidence to support it. They also have a real talent in sticking their noses where they aren't necessary, usually to provoke problems that weren't there before.

The Assistant Principal is inept at proving his point.
The Assistant Principal's job is to try to find something to suspend you for
The Assistant Principal's sole purpose is to administrate whereas the Principal's sole purpose is to represent

Assistant Principal by anna bn April 9, 2009

Assisted Autofelletio 

Background: Autofelletio is the act of performing fellatio on one's self.

The assisted autofelletio is achieved with the help of another person. As one person attempts autofelletio the second person pushes down on the shoulders in unison with the up and down motion of the first person.

The first person can use a free hand to increase stimulation during assisted autofelletio.

Bill: "Last night Jackie didn't want to give me a blow job but she helped me blow myself"

Rob: "You got her to give you assisted autofelletio?"

Bill: "Totally!"

Assisted Autofelletio by Jack Itoff December 22, 2010