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assent

Similar to the verb ascent, but specific to when mounting up on a sweet ass to make some magic from behind.
Harry: See Keri over there? Walking away and taking all eyes with her?
Alec: Yep! Are those jorts?
Harry: Doesn't matter. I swear I am gonna assent on her after the concert Friday!
by von groovy August 27, 2017
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Disingenuous Assertions

Disingenuous: lacking in frankness, candor, or sincerity; falsely or hypocritically

Assertion: positive statement or declaration, often without support or reason: a mere assertion; an unwarranted assertion.

put the two together and you have Disingenuous Assertions so I'll dumb it down for you people

Disingenuous Assertions: pretty much lying to make someone look good and something that so infuriating that it makes soldiers want to punch reporters
I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions
by Bushyfro September 29, 2011
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absent-minded

so lost in thought that one does not realize what one is doing, what is happening, etc.; preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one's immediate surroundings.
I tried to call out to him but he didn't hear me. He wasn't paying attention. He is absent-minded
by Snowbaby January 8, 2014
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Assence

Assence - noun

Any type of odour that contains distinct noticeable characteristics which indicate that the smell originated from the rear end of a person or animal.
The severity of the odour can be of any degree.

"Assence" is formed by merging the words "Ass" and "Essence".

An assence may be the result of: flatulence be it post coital or otherwise, a Rippee, excretion, dogs, pigs or other dirty animals etc....
1: Remember that super hot chick from the dress shop? We had the most amazing date ever last night.
2: And?
1: We get back to her place and had the best sex I have ever had in my entire life, like intergalactic Avatar sex, I blew fireworks all over the wall.
2: And?
1: So afterwards we're lying there, basking in the afterglow when all of a sudden the entire place reeks. It reeks like a sewer in a bad neighbourhood where people only eat Indian food.
2: Now we're talking. Well, there can only be a few possible explanations for this and the first thing that comes to my mind is her vagina. Was it, like, rank dude?.
1: No!
2: That happens to chicks dude, that's why they invented the douche.
1: I thought they invented that so we had something to call you?
2: Very funny…
1: No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't her vagina. I have plenty of experience with rank vagina plus this odour has more of like an Ass Essence to it, an "Assence" if you will.
2: Was it you?
1: No bro, no way, not a chance. First off I never fart with a new chick until like the fourth date, third date maybe. Second off I have never in my life farted the smell of a rotten corpse. I would have to eat the corpse of a dead guy who just ate Indian food and then shit himself in order to fart a smell that bad.

Do you smell that assence?

You can smell an assence if you enter a toilet or restroom after someone had a dump.
Most noticeable in a club/bar or restaurant
by rzhhhh November 23, 2011
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liquidate the assets

When you've been backed up for several days and you have to resort to some sort of magnesium or saline laxative, or enema, to take care of business.
Oh man, I've been backed up for several days now, I think it's time to liquidate the assets!
by Mr. Quackens February 26, 2017
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Assenholen

How to say "asshole" while sounding like a stereotypical German.
I'll Fuch you right in ze Assenholen
by Dark Night Enforcer January 27, 2015
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Shat-in-absentia

The punitive act of 'leaving-behind' a large, commode-filling mass of fecal material that, through time, evaporation and vacancy creates an extremely unpleasant next-occupant arrival surprise; especially useful for time-share condos, infrequently accessed guest homes and seasonal-use facilities.
I'll never again be the first to enter THAT condo...the last renters shat-in-absentia. When I opened the door it was like being punched in the face by a shit-bag fist. Nas-T....
by YAWA August 21, 2016
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