alto clarinet 

Invention of the devil to throw clarinet choirs out of tune. So pitchy that the e-flat alto was delegated to the saxophone section. Rarely necessary in bands or orchestras, but when orchestrated for e-flat, line should be instead played by e-flat soprano, a bright, lively, slightly more in tune clarinet

Warning on Alto Clarinet case: Hazardous contents. Avoid contact with hands and mouth. If heard, immediately flush ears with Brahms or Mozart. More volatile in numbers. Also, should not be combined with amateur oboe or string player, as such a mixture has a significant correlation with the development of bipolar disorder.

alto clarinet by Experienced clarinetist May 1, 2006

Contra Alto Clarinet 

Contra alto clarinets are tall deep e flat clarinets. They are by far the best clarinet because they are rich and deep and make an awesome bass section. They're way better than baritone saxophones because, they just are.

Crazy clarinet players that play a bunch of instruments love to play the contra alto clarinet and when their teacher gives them some music for it, they get VERY excited.

Contra alto clarinets are reed instruments. A reed is a piece of plastic or bamboo that vibrates when air goes over it and it creates sound. A reed is kind of like one of those sticks doctors put on your tongue.

Since the instrument is so tall, you have to sit on two chairs or even a stool sometimes. It makes you feel powerful like a king or queen. You dominate the whole band.

Wow, what instrument is she playing? Oh thats a contra alto clarinet.

Contra Alto Clarinet by crazy clarinetist August 2, 2010