acquisitionist 

A media & software hoarder. A person who's bandwidth, storage space, and desire to acquire intellectual property greatly exceed their ability or availability to enjoy even a small percentage of it.

Not to be confused with the typical obsessive collector: the acquisitionist distinguishes his or herself by having enough media to require several human lifetimes to even watch / play / listen to it all.

Maxwell: Hey Jorge, want to come over to my house and hang out? I just bought five new terabyte drives and I've already loaded them up with 1000 new movies, the entire N64, PS1, PS2 and Game Cube catalogs, the Virgin music catalog, and 10,000 hours of porn.

Jorge: Ok, I guess that might be alright. Hey how's your daughter doing? I hear she's started walking?

Maxwell: I wouldn't actually know; I'm an acquisitionist now; I tend to spend every waking hour downloading.

Jorge: Look, I've got to be somewhere.

acquisitionist by malarky2020 October 19, 2009

Acquisitionist 

A person who acquires an item , product or services for another person.

Joe, the acquisitionist acquired a client for Tom the businessman.

Acquisitionist by An Acquisitionist December 18, 2020

acquisitionitis 

the disease of desiring to acquire.

Suzie shops to shop. She doesn't need anything. She's got acquisitionitis.
Julie's a collector. She keeps buying more and more. She has acquisitionitis.

acquisitionitis by snappy2 April 28, 2008

Acquisitionfest

A new term for Christmas, invented as a reflection of the fact the original values and methods of celebrating have been streamlined and homogenised to the point of it being a mere exercise in material gain.

Gone are the values of "peace and goodwill to all men" and finding solidarity in the company family and friends. Christmas is now just a way for large multi-national companies to further part people from their cash, as if they weren't wasting enough of it at all other times of year.

Judith: "Did you see the amount of pointless seasonal junk on sale in the mall chainstores?"

Jenny: "It's not even December yet, and still the plastic trees and tacky lights are up."

Judith: "I know. I wonder if people even remember what Christmas is supposed to be about."

Jenny: "Yeah, now it's more like a giant acquisitionfest."

Acquisitionfest by zekepliskin December 6, 2009