Skip to main content

acquisitionist 

A media & software hoarder. A person who's bandwidth, storage space, and desire to acquire intellectual property greatly exceed their ability or availability to enjoy even a small percentage of it.

Not to be confused with the typical obsessive collector: the acquisitionist distinguishes his or herself by having enough media to require several human lifetimes to even watch / play / listen to it all.
Maxwell: Hey Jorge, want to come over to my house and hang out? I just bought five new terabyte drives and I've already loaded them up with 1000 new movies, the entire N64, PS1, PS2 and Game Cube catalogs, the Virgin music catalog, and 10,000 hours of porn.

Jorge: Ok, I guess that might be alright. Hey how's your daughter doing? I hear she's started walking?

Maxwell: I wouldn't actually know; I'm an acquisitionist now; I tend to spend every waking hour downloading.

Jorge: Look, I've got to be somewhere.
acquisitionist by malarky2020 October 19, 2009
acquisitionist mug front
Get the acquisitionist mug.
See more merch

Acquisitionist 

A person who acquires an item , product or services for another person.
Joe, the acquisitionist acquired a client for Tom the businessman.

acquisitionitis 

the disease of desiring to acquire.
Suzie shops to shop. She doesn't need anything. She's got acquisitionitis.
Julie's a collector. She keeps buying more and more. She has acquisitionitis.
acquisitionitis by snappy2 April 28, 2008

Acquisitionfest

A new term for Christmas, invented as a reflection of the fact the original values and methods of celebrating have been streamlined and homogenised to the point of it being a mere exercise in material gain.

Gone are the values of "peace and goodwill to all men" and finding solidarity in the company family and friends. Christmas is now just a way for large multi-national companies to further part people from their cash, as if they weren't wasting enough of it at all other times of year.
Judith: "Did you see the amount of pointless seasonal junk on sale in the mall chainstores?"

Jenny: "It's not even December yet, and still the plastic trees and tacky lights are up."

Judith: "I know. I wonder if people even remember what Christmas is supposed to be about."

Jenny: "Yeah, now it's more like a giant acquisitionfest."
Acquisitionfest by zekepliskin December 6, 2009
well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!
Them future folk took ouare jerbs!
jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005
Word of the Day on May 22, 2026
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020
Word of the Day on May 21, 2026

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019
Word of the Day on May 20, 2026