When I found out that I was still legally married, I called him up and talked to him and his wife. She threw out some names as to what we would call each other. Wifester is was.
Special-sounding footsteps only your wife can make when she is about to come downstairs and find out what the hell you're doing on the computer at 4:30 am. They are supposed to be quiet but owing to the building rage within they are usually quite audible.