1) being able to worship the Lord and breasts with equal reverence.
2) (aka "the hoffa effect") being smarter than your persecutors/prosecutors and summarily punished for something insignificant to the more egregious offenses for lack of evidence.
3) those who think that "seminary" is the study of "semen".
4) willful ocean poops.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

1) being old enough to know better, but young enough to still do it. Specifically in terms of dangerous drugs combined with the pursuit of Christian boobs.
2) (aka "the Hoffa") Being disciplined for something ridiculously small in comparison to larger, more egregious offenses.
3) farting like it just doesn't smell.