Unicows are native to Wisconsin. There have been very rare cases of them being tamed and people keeping them as pets. In most of these strange cases the creature prefers to be under your
bed, under your bathroom sink, or in the very back of your closet. We have no idea what they eat in the wild but they seem to
like old homework assignments, supernovas and sparkling
peach starburst beer. They
like lamps… A LOT! A recent
study shows that there favorite activities are: coloring
hair with kool aid, hanging with Nyan-
cat, staring at spoons, and making the minions from despicable me there slaves. Unicows are very dangerous and should never be approached and pet
like wild horses. They only appear on Monday nights and it is illegal to hunt them. After the NHA made every Monday unicow day, the tradition of LAMPing things came into play. Today people all over the world
lamp things in honor of this magnificent creature in hopes of one appearing in their homes and granting them one wish. It is also costume to hide things (
like the unicows do) and attack them with sticky notes because they love the colors of the rainbow. If you ever come face to face with one (especially a wild one) call
911 and constantly say lamp until the creature becomes calm or runs off. If you have anything shiny on you immediately remove it for your safty.
