The Bergal is a creature which some claim as legend, other a monster. The Bergal is commonly spotted once a year in the Poconos, where it migrates for the "old fashioned". The Bergal's diet has been speculated to be soft mushy bland roughage, as it has no teeth. Some have claimed to have spotted The Bergal roaming with a pack of Newfoundland dogs. These dogs are the only breed of dog that are attracted to the peculiar smell of The Bergal. This smell is unbearable to any human being. It is not known how The Bergal communicates, but some claim that The Bergal speaks by a series of grunts and coughs. The migration of The Bergal is prompted by the tides. If you are caught in the path of The Bergal's migration it will cause The Bergal to linger and you will be regaled of stories of it's past which are unbearable to listen to. The only known way to drive The Bergal away is to cover yourself in hot sauce. The Bergal is known to be very afraid of spicy things. It can also warded away by flatulence.
I was at the Westminster dog show last night when I heard the grunts of The Bergal. I was sure that it was The Bergal because the smell caused me to vomit uncontrollably.
by Dante Mustachio March 19, 2011