Top definition
A 'swaineyslut' is a new breed of slut capable of seducing 'young' boys into her bedroom without the use of alcohol, sweeties or money.
A 'swaineyslut' offers many sexual favours to many many MANY people of all races, religions and cultures...a 'swaineyslut' isn't fussy about who 'tickles her mini'!
A 'swaineyslut' can be identified using several different methods which are outlined below:

1 - If you see a female with more than three men in her bed at ONE time and all of the males are naked, hairless and shimmery (due to stimulating lubricant) then you have stumbled across a rare breed of the 'swaineyslut' called a 'lubey swaineyslut'. Congratulations!

2 - An even rarer breed of the 'swaineyslut' can be found in small, rural and remote villages in eastern England. She tends to frequent with elder gentlemen who do not realise that the 'swaineyslut' is a mean and devious creature. The 'swaineyslut' is renowned for stealing money and precious diamonds as well as conning old and senile men into eating vast amounts of viagra in order to 'satisfy' herself. This breed of the 'swaineyslut' is known as the 'filthymoneygrabbingOAPfiddling swaineyslut'.

3 - The most common breed of 'swaineyslut' is found in the most unlikely of places. Schools and 6th form colleges, low-cost night clubs named after specific types of playing cards for example 'Kings', 'Queens' or perhaps even 'Jokers'...however, the most common place to find a 'swaineyslut' is on many popular, young and trendy chat forums and websites. This breed is known only as the 'MEGAswaineyslut'.

Ladies and Gentlemen, i have warned you of the dangers of the 'swaineyslut' so forever be careful, wide-eyed and on your toes because if you are ever attacked by a 'swaineyslut' of any breed then it is the end. Many (and i mean MANY) young men (and i mean YOUNG men) have suffered this dreadful fate. These unlucky men live with terrible deformities of the groin and surrounding area. Rotting of the scrotum is not unusual and incredibly large amounts of testicular swelling can occur! gentlemen, be safe...! I have done all i can.
A 'swaineyslut' is only created once every 100,000 years so it is very difficult to create an will only know that you have met a 'swaineyslut' the morning after the night of the attack. A lot of research is being put into new and exciting methods of finding more information about the 'swaineyslut' yet nothing has been found yet. Until the day a cure is found then i leave you with my best wishes. I pray for safety and protection to you all.
by Tom Hughes May 15, 2007
Get the mug
Get a Swaineyslut mug for your Facebook friend Bob.