Spacetime-Probability Mechanics

The branch of five-dimensional physics that describes how objects move through the combined manifold of space, time, and probability. Unlike classical mechanics, where an object's position is defined by three spatial coordinates and one temporal coordinate, spacetime-probability mechanics requires specifying which probability branch you're in at any given moment. This explains why your keys seem to "teleport" between locations—they're not moving in space; they're shifting in probability-space, and you're just not observing the correct branch. The mathematics involve "probability vectors," "branch trajectories," and a complex function called the "universal wavefunction of lost items," which has so far resisted all attempts at analytical solution.

*Example: "He applied spacetime-probability mechanics to his morning routine, calculating that his phone had a 73% probability of being in the bedroom, 20% in the kitchen, and 7% in a dimension where he'd already left for work and was currently panicking without it. He checked the bedroom, found it, and felt like a five-dimensional genius. Then he realized he'd been holding it the whole time, which the equations had not accounted for."*

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Quantum Mechanics

The five-dimensional extension of quantum theory, proposing that quantum particles don't just have probability waves—they actually exist across all probability branches simultaneously, and what we call "wavefunction collapse" is just our consciousness synchronizing with a specific probability coordinate. This elegantly resolves the measurement problem (the particle was always in a definite probability branch; we just weren't observing it), explains quantum entanglement (particles share probability coordinates across space), and provides a framework for understanding why your computer only crashes when you have an unsaved document (you've shifted to a probability branch where the crash happens, while in other branches, you wisely saved and are now drinking coffee, victorious).

Example: "He tried to explain spacetime-probability quantum mechanics to his tech support person. 'My computer isn't crashing randomly,' he said. 'I've just shifted to a probability branch where the crash occurs. In another branch, it's fine, and I'm not calling you.' The tech support person said that in every branch where people called him with this kind of explanation, he hung up. He then demonstrated branch selection by hanging up."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026